For a minute, I lost myself chasing you. I was a boiling pot of emotions without a lid, overflowing from all angles. Our differences our only common ground. We weren’t happy. Lost my balance, lost myself. You silenced my voice, took away my ability to express my thoughts.
Words, I did speak, but it all fell on deaf ears. Listen to me I cried nearly every day. I needed you- my needs being shaped into a cage, a cage wrapped around my precious heart resting in the curves of your hands.
Time I wished to spend, bottled up by your arms. I awaited your broadened smile to possess my flowers heart. Resist me not I cried, suffocate with visions of me. My presence, a present, cherish it.
Your beastly presence, clouding my thoughts consuming my very being. You denied the emotion, the sound of music that our hearts combined created, the harmonizing orchestra of heart beats, we were one…so I thought.
Forever is not real! It doesn’t exist I broke free from my desires. I broke free. No longer captured by the temporary feeling of ecstasy you once provided.
You were my drug, but I resisted the addiction, rehabilitated from my mind, to my body and soul. Now you are a faded memory of what I once had to have.
I let go.
But as soon as I let go, you decided it was time for you to leech on to the emotions that were long gone. Let me go! Detach me from your thoughts, your dreams are holding me captive. Unchain my heart, release my soul from the depth of your aggression. To escape into my own reality was all I asked. To be myself again instead a figment of your infatuation.
You suffocated yourself with thoughts of me.
Me, you, we, mine, yours, us… you kept wishing our souls would merge into one and become mates. Forever is what you seek so you have made me a prisoner of your obsession.
“Parts of me wanted to ask you to stay to keep fighting for me. To fight for us. But a certain ideology impeded me from doing so. If this is love, cruel should be its name only cruelty stabs the heart then slowly pulls away viciously, selfishly and still.
Someone should have told me not attached to the moments good or bad.
For a minute I lost myself, 60 seconds of heart ache. Took me 9 months but I found me in the midst of the chaos, I found myself. I am no longer a prisoner, confusion is not my middle name. Didn’t know how to love myself so I invested in loving you.