The irony of healing is that it hurts...
Healing is the thing that comes AFTER wounds, injury, and sickness.
That could be anything from an addiction to a broken leg, a broken heart, trauma, or a flu.
The fucked up and super confusing irony of healing is, healing feels like you're being physically ripped to fucking shreds.
Because in a way, you are.
But it might be helpful to understand and look at it this way.
What's being ripped away isn't you, not your essence anyway.
It’s all the shit that’s been stacked on, plastered over, painted over and reinforced that covers your essence as a protection mechanism or a shield was not a good steward of your energy and/or love.
Those things get calcified over time and start to feel like a permanent part of us.
And we kind of just accept that as "This is me. Take it or leave it.".
But it's not your essence.
You don't have a moral or ethical position on anything that didn't come from someone else's ideas who had some influence on you about things. Either directly or through influence by the people that influence you.
Social dynamics are complicated.
But personal dynamics are simple.
It's you. Your physical body and your spiritual body, the power source that animates your physical body.
At the core of that is your own unique and default energy signature.
And everything else is just a bunch of moving parts that you build and have built your life with.
Chip away at and peel off all the shit that isn't you. That doesn't feel right. That doesn't feel like you.
And understand, little bits and pieces of you are going to become collateral damage.
Every time you pull a flower, it pulls up a little bit of the fertile soil the flower grew in.
Many people call them weeds. But they're not weeds. Weeds are wild and natural and perceived as a nuisance, not planted on purpose and controlled. (More like free flow dynamic thoughts/energy)
Flowers are planted with intention, on purpose, and controlled and beautiful and perceived as valuable. (More like intentional conditioning thoughts/energy)
That’s why it hurts so damn bad when you begin the process of healing.
Because you're NOT pulling weeds. You're pulling flowers.
And it digs down to the roots of the wounds.
Pulling things up you see as a valuable part of your personal ecosystem and it tears a little piece of the "flesh of your heart" out with it every time.
Like a bandaid that pulls off the flesh it's meant to protect when you remove it from your skin.
It's gonna hurt. There's no way around it.
So just take a deep breath, stand tall, clench your fists, grit your teeth, and brace for impact!
But don't fret too much.
Because your heart/energy regenerates and recalibrates over time with the right nurturing, support, and love.
From yourself and others.
Leaving a clean and fresh bed of fertile soil for whatever is next.
Only this time, you choose you, not them.
— TMDC ✍
