8 Harsh Truths About Life That You Need To Hear
Life lessons from someone in their mid-20s.
--
About two months ago, I turned 25. Trust me, once you hit your mid-20s, you’ll begin to see life from a very different perspective.
You’ve finally stepped into the real world, where you’ll have to frantically wade through the harsh currents of life to stay afloat.
Responsibilities, societal expectations, and a stressful work environment will weigh you down and attempt to drown you.
The truth is, nobody’s ever really prepared for the future.
With that said, allow me to share these eight harsh truths about life that I’ve come to learn in my mid-20s.
Hopefully, these lessons will guide you through life and help you make better decisions in the future.
1. You are responsible for your emotional reactions.
Feeling emotional about something is normal, but we can always work on how we respond to our emotions.
If you’re feeling angry, you can choose to be violent or be rational about it.
If you’re feeling scared, you can choose to display bravery or cower in fear.
My point is that we are sentient beings capable of controlling our responses. We are not wild animals who rely on instincts alone. However, the choice to not react to something at all is also within our power.
Do not emotionally invest yourself in things that are not worth your time and effort.
Do not let a single rude comment or criticism ruin your entire day.
Do not let minor inconveniences in life affect you all the time.
As much as possible, stop using your instinctive urges to respond to your emotions right away. Your thoughts, expressions, and responses are on you.
Your emotional reactions are your responsibility.
2. Only you can “fix” yourself.
My generation grew up watching Disney princesses in distress, waiting for some majestic knight in shining armor to come and save them.
However, real life does not work like a Disney fairy tale.
No knight in shining armor will magically save you from your childhood traumas and personal issues.
Relying on someone else to “fix” you serves as a gateway to a tragic and toxic relationship dynamic that is not sustainable.
Once that person leaves your side, who will you rely on to “fix” you?
Yes, you can always seek help. Your spouse, psychologist, friends, or family members will be there to help you and provide emotional support, but the healing process has to ultimately come from you.
Do not 100% rely on people to fix your problems for you. Only you can truly “fix” yourself.
3. Your ability to handle life’s uncertainties will determine your future.
Opportunities come and go. Some people leave, some people stay. You could be living your best life today, then a global pandemic could suddenly hit you the next day.
Life is unpredictable like that. No one knows what the future holds.
However, here’s the thing:
Your life will be determined by how you handle obstacles and how confidently you navigate towards the unknown.
To get from one miserable place to a happy one, you must be brave enough to face the uncertain future and deal with the challenges that might come along the way.
Your ability to handle life’s uncertainties will determine your future, not fate or destiny.
4. The “right time” won’t come unless you do something about it.
Life is not a waiting game. As the saying goes, “time waits for no one”.
Casually waiting for things to magically fall into place without lifting a finger will not usually yield the results that you are hoping for.
Stop operating your life on autopilot and grab the steering wheel right now.
Oh, you want to become a successful doctor one day?
Then don’t just preach about “waiting for the right time” for that MD or Ph.D to fall into your lap. Grab your books, study hard, and work towards achieving your goals. That’s how you get things done.
Don’t rely on fate or destiny. Sitting back, expecting fate to take care of things for you will make your life perpetually stagnant.
Be the proactive driving force in achieving the future that you’ve always desired.
5. Stop caring too much about what other people think.
As a chronic over-thinker, I’ve been a victim of this mindset.
I used to always think about what other people might say about me if I do this and that, or if they find this out about me. Maybe sometimes, I still do.
Reputations matter, but it’s also important to remember that you are living your life and not someone else’s.
Life is not a stage and you are not an actor. Stop treating life as a theatre performance with an audience to constantly impress.
Having to wear a mask and “act” for the purpose of fitting in with the crowd or fulfilling someone else’s expectations can make your life miserable.
Stop thinking too much about what other people might say.
Stop caring too much about what other people think.
Living an authentic life is the key to genuine happiness.
6. There’s nothing to “find” about yourself.
As George Bernard Shaw once said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
Your strengths, core values, and purpose are not some things that you just randomly find in life.
One must consciously cultivate and hone them, as opposed to just simply discovering or “finding” them.
Finding yourself is a pop culture lie. You are a product of your day-to-day actions and habits.
The truth is, creating and building your strengths, core values, and passions is not going to be an easy journey.
Life is almost akin to playing an MMORPG. You have to constantly grind and finish quests to increase your level, skills, and stats. Relying on “finding” loot alone will not get your character anywhere.
People love to follow the “easy route” or the path of least resistance, as opposed to the long and winding road of constant learning, perseverance, and dedication.
Instead of taking the easy route, aim to create the best version of yourself that you want to be.
7. Chasing perfection will only make you miserable.
There’s no such thing as “the perfect soulmate” or a “perfect life”.
People often fall prey to these delusional pop culture myths that perpetuate false and unattainable standards.
Nobody’s perfect, so what makes you think you can find the perfect spouse or live a perfect life?
The relentless pursuit for perfection breeds malcontent, leading to an unhappy life filled with disappointments.
Instead of seeking ultimate perfection, seek to become a better person than you were yesterday.
You can never be perfect, but you can strive to be better each day.
That being said, your greatest competitor in life should be yourself. Do not seek to compare your progress with others. We’re all living different lives under different circumstances.
8. Not everyone will like you and that’s okay.
Realizing that not every single person in your life will like you is one of the most liberating feelings.
Coming to this realization in my mid-20s made me stop being a “people pleaser”.
No matter hard you try, there will always be people who dislike you. Sometimes, people even dislike you for no particular reason at all.
Not everyone‘s going to like you and that’s okay.
Not everyone deserves a seat at the table of your life.
It should only be reserved for those who genuinely care about you and cherish you. These people are your true friends and allies.
Your worth should not be based on the opinion of others. And while some people may dislike you, there are also others who like you for staying true to yourself despite all the odds.
Hold your head up high and keep in mind that not everyone is worthy of being a part of your life.
Conclusion
Life can be beautiful sometimes, but it can also be an effective yet cruel teacher once you stop viewing the world through naive, rose-tinted glasses.
Knowing these harsh truths are essential in helping you keep in touch with the realities of life, even though you might not want to hear them.
