Dear Overthinker — Are you always worried about what other people might think of you?
How to Achieve Peace of Mind
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An overthinker is someone who excessively dwells on thoughts and worries, often to the point of causing anxiety and stress. They tend to overanalyze and dissect every situation, considering every possible outcome or negative worst-case scenarios.
I used to be a massive overthinker (sometimes I still am).
From questioning the purpose of life, to why ice cream is not actually made of ice, wondering about the existence of God, but also how far East can you travel before you are traveling West, and why my patient suddenly went into cardiac arrest earlier that day. As an overthinker, I’ve wasted nights ostensibly staring into the blank walls of my room, aimlessly pondering about anything that comes to mind.
Then there’s this excessive overthinking about money, the future of my career, will I ever achieve my dreams someday(?), my parents getting old, and worst of all— overthinking what other people might say about me.
Yes, I also struggled with being a people-pleaser.
I used to overthink about getting people to like me, even if I never liked them in the first place. I had a hard time saying “No” to situations that made me feel uncomfortable for fear that people may think I’m manhid or I’d get treated like a social pariah.
But let’s be honest; we’ve all been there. Human as we are, we often fall prey to being overly-self conscious about our appearance and reputation.
So, how can you stop yourself from worrying too much about what other people might think?
1. Practice self-compassion.
When you find yourself worrying about what others think of you, try to be kind and understanding towards yourself.
Recognize that it’s normal to care about what others think, but also acknowledge that you don’t need their approval to be happy or successful. Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself kindly and giving yourself permission to make mistakes.
2. Reframe your thoughts.
Try to reframe your thoughts about the perception of others. Instead of worrying about what they think of you, focus on being true to yourself and your values.
Remind yourself that everyone has their own opinions and that it’s impossible to please everyone. Instead of trying to live up to others’ expectations, focus on doing what feels right for you.
3. Focus on what matters.
Instead of getting caught up in worrying about what others think, focus on what really matters. Take action toward your goals and aspirations.
There are billions of people all around the world and let me assure you:
No one really cares about your life that much.
Focus on doing things that make you feel good about yourself and that align with your values. By doing so, you can build your self-confidence and feel more secure in yourself, regardless of what others may think.
As Alexis Rose from Schitt’s Creek on Netflix once said to her brother David in one episode:
“People aren’t thinking about you, as much as you’re thinking about you.”
It’s healthy to realize that you are not the center of other people’s attention all the time. Pour your attention into your growth, values, and goals without worrying too much about what others may think.
Overthinking can also negatively impact your relationships. It can cause you to become overly critical and judgmental of others, leading to strained relationships and misunderstandings.
Bottomline is, most people are usually too busy with their own lives, thoughts, and concerns to spend a considerable amount of time thinking about what you said or did.
Don’t let overthinking disrupt your peace of mind.
Life’s too short for that.
