Go to the profile of Teresa Lagerman
Teresa Lagerman
Create the things you wish existed.

Screw goodie bags — flying with kids is actually not that hard.

I can’t believe this nonsense with the goodie bags. I don’t see loud sleepers handing out little jewel boxes with earplugs to their fellow passengers. Here’s the thing:

Children are small human beings and have the right to go places.

No need to apologize. Flying with kids has it challenges, but it doesn’t need to be stressful. First, we need to establish three basic ground rules for parents:

  1. Adjust your expectations. You’re not going to breeze through security anymore, or get through a novel undisturbed, and it’s fine.
  2. Check as much luggage as you can. The lighter you walk through the airport, the less stressed you’ll feel.
  3. It’s okay for kids to cry. The change of pressure with take-off and landing makes me want to cry sometimes too, so I get it. Your attitude towards the crying makes all the difference, not just for yourself but for your little one. Be calm and comforting, and remember that you’ll be off the plane soon.
Being nice will get you places

Since taking their first flights at 3 and 5 weeks old, my kids have grown up to be really fantastic travelers. We’ve logged a hefty amount of air miles to Europe and all over the US. Here are some of the things that help us get approving smiles from the flight attendants when we get off the plane:

  • Say hi to your fellow passengers when you board. A little small talk goes a long way to get people on your team. Once the couple in front of your know that adorable little Timmy loves to play t-ball and he wants to be a pilot when he grows up and are you going to California too???, it’s just harder to get mad at him.
  • Each child brings a backpack with their stuff. I let the kids pack what they want in their backpacks (the contents do get edited sometimes). Make sure it’s not too heavy, but even toddlers can carry a small backpack with a few things in it. This helps keep their stuff handy, lightens your load, and gives them some responsibility. Parenting win.
  • Bring something new they’ll love. Once we are all seated, I give each kid an inexpensive little present — something that I know they’re going to like and will keep them busy for a long time. For our upcoming trip, my 8-year-old is getting a giant Garfield comic book, and my 6-year-old a Cars bible of sorts. Other good ideas are small lego sets, play doh, sticker books, finger puppets, coloring pads, a journal, rubix cube.
  • Load 2–3 new apps for them. The new factor gets everyone in a good mood, and is guaranteed to get more play time out of them.
  • On that note — screen rules from home don’t apply on the plane. Just like I wouldn’t normally watch two or three movies in a row at home, it’s okay for the kids to be glued to their device for way longer than usual.
  • Bring headphones. I’m all for Angry Birds, but I don’t want to hear it, and neither does the person in front of you. Get some that are comfortable for little ears. The Hamlan from UrbanEars have a washable headband & ear colors and come in lots of cool colors.
  • Have a couple of water bottles handy. I bring them empty and fill them at a water fountain after security. Kids can go from totally normal to near-death-thirst in a matter of seconds, and it can be a while before you can get a flight attendant to bring you some, especially at night.
  • Oh snacks. So many. Each kid has their snacks in their backpack, and we take snack breaks every couple hours.
  • Play with your kids. iPad time is fun, but getting all of mom or dad’s attention is the best. Read a book with them, play Go Fish, tic tac toe, hangman, I spy… Color with them, make up a story and act it out with finger puppets, look out at the clouds, draw together, take pictures while you make silly faces.
  • In your carry on, pack a change of clothes for each kid in a ziplock bag, along with a spare shirt for yourself. Pee happens, puke happens, food tray disasters happen. Handle them quickly and with all the grace you can muster. The ziplock bag keeps the offending clothes from stinking up your luggage.
  • Take walk breaks, deep breaths, smile, know you’ve got this, and enjoy the ride.

The thing is, a plane is a place where a lot of people of all ages are trapped for a long time in a very small amount of space. As with most things in life, it goes a lot more smoothly if we respect each other, have a bit of empathy, and don’t forget our sense of humor at home.