Following on from my previous post, here are my thoughts and reflections for this week’s Code Newbie Code More mission. This mission is all about identifying your risks. Luckily I have a few.
Why do I want to code more?
I want to code more because last year I was lucky enough to move departments and become a software engineer manager in our IT section. One of the main reasons for the move was that I kept telling anyone I thought was remotely interested (I misjudged this several times) that I wanted to move to software engineering. My pitch was basically:
I’ve worked in the business for 11 years and I have lots of business knowledge* but in my spare time I have been doing some coding. Look I can do this and that.** Yes it’s not brilliant. Don’t click that bit — it doesn’t work. Yes I have a long way to go. But look look — I think I am more suited to the IT part of our organisation. Do you agree?
*I now realise I should have said domain knowledge of course. Total noob.
**Cue demo of something I’m now embarassed to think about.
Amazingly the answer was yes and I moved to our IT section.
Such a great opportunity. I was so grateful. I knew it was going to be a challenge of course but it was one I was up for. I knew I would need to continue with the early morning, late night and every weekend coding sessions I’d already been doing for about two years but I was more than happy to do this. I was fired up, excited and motivated and then …
I found out I had cancer — specifically a rather large tumor in my breast that needed an operation and a treatment plan of chemotherapy, radiotherapy and a year’s worth of herceptin. I was not a happy puppy.
My diagnosis has meant time off work. Physically I have just not been up to it. Before the tumor was removed I was feeling increasingly weak and tired and now that chemo has started I’m feeling the sickest I’ve ever felt in my life (I started writing the first draft of this in hospital after a dose of morphine — it was not a good first draft). But even though I am off work and unwell I don’t want to give up on coding and I don’t want to give up on my career. I want to try to use any time I feel up to it (even if just 30 minutes a day) to “code more” and improve my programming skills so that when I return to work I’m all cool and kick ass (and bald) and they’re all, “Wow she really knows her stuff…and see how the light now reflects off her head. Awesome.” Basically
I will not let cancer defeat my passion, drive and ambition
I know I’ll have reached my “code more” goal when:
I am coding regularly and coding productively. This means completing all the courses I have already prioritised and building up a good portfolio on Github.
My top three assumptions for reaching my goal are:
- That I am well enough to do this.
- That I make the time to do this.
- That I pick a path and stay focused on it.
Of these assumptions my riskiest is that I am well enough to do it. The chemo has been much harder on me than I thought it would be. This past week has shown that when I feel at my worse I will simply not be able to code at all. I am scared about my next chemo cycle.
Three ways I might address these root causes :
- Talk to my oncologist about the chemo dose they gave me and if it can be reduced. Also find out what extra medication I can have to help me with all the side effects.
- Identify periods of the day when I feel better and schedule my coding sessions for then. For example, it’s currently 1.30am, I can’t sleep as my stomach is hurting and so I’m writing this post. This could be a perfect time to code. Except I’m very very tired …
- Changing my diet — chemo has badly affected my stomach. I need to eat differently to help it better cope with what lies ahead. Eating better is always a good thing of course.
Of these, the biggest cause that’s worth tackling first is talking to my oncologist. My life and not just my career might depend on this. If we can’t minimise some of these chemo side effects I’m not sure I can continue with the treatment. But if we can work something out and the side effects turn out to be not as severe next time round I think I’ll be raring to go …sort of.