You’ll Change Your Mind When You’re 30

Terri McCray
Sep 5, 2018 · 2 min read

At least that’s what I was always told about my lack of desire to have children. Well, here I am a few short weeks away from 31, and baby fever has yet to overcome me with night sweats and the shakes. That’s what happens, right? A baby bites you and infects you with baby fever and then you start wandering the children section at Target incoherently muttering, “Braaaaains, I mean baaaabies, baaaaaabies!” Yeah, that’s exactly how it happens. Although, I’ve heard countless stupid things like “You’ll change your mind when *insert arbitrary life milestone*” or “God made you a woman and put you on Earth to have babies” (yes, people have literally said that crap to me) I count myself among the lucky. I’m currently single and most people I know know better than to hit me with the typical “You’ll change your mind” crap but some of my married friends are not so lucky. The assumption is that once you’re married, every waking moment should be devoted to trying to bring babies into the world and if you don’t do that then somehow you’ve failed. Conversely, the assumption about me is that I’ll die alone surrounded by hundreds of cats who hopefully won’t eat my face (but you know they will because cats are assholes) before my family discovers my body, because what man in their right mind would ever want a woman that doesn’t want kids?! Both of these assumptions are crap for the record. I’m not changing my mind and you know whose business that is? Mine. You know who’s life is forever changed by my decision not to have children? No one’s. And you know who’s secretly laughing when you tell me how your baby won’t sleep for more than what seems like 5 minute intervals and you just want to sleep after calling me selfish for not wanting kids? Me. It’s totally me. I’m laughing at your pain. Children are life-changing and if they changed your life for the better, I’m happy that you’re happy, but I like my life just the way it is and that won’t change no matter what side of 30 I’m on.

Terri McCray

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Winging it.