Intoxication & Oblivion

As I chose to do 
what my heart told me to,
I came to found what the beats
of my hearts seems to lead,

the presence of a man,
shining like the splendid sun,
skin as pristine as glistened sand,
eyes gleaming like the stars, damn.

Your eyes are like the desert sand, 
glittering under the burning sun,
I can’t seem to get my eyes away,
from the infinity of your eyes well.

Staring in your eyes gave me peace,
the peace of thousands heaven,
tranquil in your oasis, 
calm and safe perhaps in your arms.

Your touch as smooth as silk,
as delicate as the graceful wind,
delicious as sweet honey milk,
intoxicating as the precious wine.

Your smile carved like a perfect art,
complementing the beautiful visage,
pink like the rosy rose strawberry sweet,
luscious enough tempting me to eat.

The body sculpted like the divines,
moving like beautiful waves, 
perfection spelled in all that surfaced,
mesmerizing every time you’re in motion.

The sound of your voice are enchanting,
beautiful like the choirs of the angels up high,
composed in ways that mesmerized me,
soundtrack that I’d cherished all my life.

You held my hand unexpectedly,
never in a million years I would expect,
an angel to grasp an unclean wench like me,
but your hand fits mine perfectly.

I cling to you like my life depends on you,
your biceps were my pillars,
and your chest were my pillows,
you hugs as divine as you are; an angel with halo.

In your arms I felt protected and safe,
your chest were like a pillowcase,
in my nightmare I squirm and you held me tight,
make sure I am warm.

Our body we explored each other,
curiosity and passion plays its parts,
no partition.

I felt safe, I felt loved,
is this a moment pleasure?
or a lifetime treasure?
I began to get afraid.

Suddenly my angel became fallen,
his halo now turns into a horn,
a wall had been built between me and him,
an effective communication now has been gone.

what had happened I wondered?
Did something happened, something I did
that made him became the Israel to my Palestine?
And the wall that built separates us subsequent?

No longer could I talk without feeling afraid,
every conversation I held felt throat full of snake,
careful with the words I chose, He isn’t the same anymore,
not the angel that I had knew.

The communication between us grew sour,
everyday every moment seems like its getting dire,
I became desperate to get his attention, to give him warning,
to save our dying relation.

He drift further and further afar,
my love for him grew bigger so thus my longing,
but he too, flew higher and flew to the sky above,
to whom, to where I don’t even know.

Oh Icarus, don’t fly too close to the sun
you’ll fall and I won’t be there to catch you with my hands,
I loved you so, I loved you infinitely,
but I am merely human, even I have my limit.

As you flew higher to the sky above,
I dug deeper into the depression below,
my longing and love for you made me dig deep,
and now I am in an abyss drowning in my own weep.

A noose made of your promises and words,
surrounding my neck, as the places you had touched,
became the slash that slit my skin as it bled,
now I am waiting for death to come.

In my intoxication of you, now oblivion beckons.
With you gone, what is the meaning of my life?
What anchor does my escalating desperation have? 
An existential nightmare trapped in my memories.

Trapped in my memories of you, trapped in my longing of you,
trapped in my thoughts of you, trapped in my idealisation of you,
trapped in my own mind, trapped in my own consciousness,
and this searing pain streak across my mind that nobody could
understand — perhaps it’s time for it to end?