Afraid of the Night

When the last ray of sun kisses the horizon and the sparrow’s tune is silenced;

when the moon is awakened from its slumber to rise once more to grace the sky with it’s presence…

There is a stirring in my mind, and in my soul….

Unwelcome by day these manifestations rooted in the heart of idleness have authority

in darkness…

Where all that is and was lives.

I am afraid of the night;

and the truth that it brings;

and that I may be swallowed up by what it is entirely;

by the fears of what I may come to be, and the courage to pursue it;

by the understanding of what makes sense to me…that makes sense to no one else.

I am afraid of the night;

where anxious anticipation of the future brings the inevitable truth of age…

and thoughts of unfulfilled childhood dreams validate the changing seasons.

I relive a life that has been lived,

just as if to pick up an old book and read its chapters at random..

I am afraid of the night;

where I dare to hope for a future that is not promised past a moment;

where my imperfections and my weaknesses have safe passage to taunt me;

and though not a word has left my lips a thousand replayed conversations have been summoned from some place…

I am afraid of the night;

where at times I am dreamless yet full of thoughts,

and my dreams are embodied by my endless thoughts….

I seek refuge in a calm place…yet all is stirred;

a tempest that will not cease,

until the song of the sparrow…and the light of dawn.