Is sensitivity a secret superpower?
Tune into what I believe is your secret superpower and learn how to harness it to your advantage.
It’s important to start with what I mean by sensitivity and the definition I want to use is this:
The Definition:
having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others’ feelings
While there can be lots of other elements of sensitivity that people reference, I’m using this one as I think it’s particularly important in all areas of life.
The background
I am a sensitive person. I have been described as such many times, mainly in my working career, and the intention behind it every time it was mentioned was a negative one.
When I first came into the world of work, I was told that I was too sensitive to be a good leader.
Back in the day, I really believed this. But I’ve come to realise now that the reason I was told that is because there were so few types of leadership styles to aspire to. And a sensitive one wasn’t on that menu.
Sensitivity in leadership
For the most part when I first started working in 2008, senior leadership teams were made up of men. And of the very few women that were there, they were very masculine in their approach to managing a team and leading the business.
This didn’t appeal to me. I wanted a new role model — someone who was nurturing and supportive, someone honest, who took responsibility and accountability, someone self-aware and who was also an inspiring and empathetic leader, a great thinker and confident in their own skin.
Why couldn’t a good leader be all of these things?
It took a while but I got there in the end…
And then it dawned on me that a great leader is all of these things.
And someone who is sensitive naturally has many of these character traits.
Coming back to today, I have spent a lot of time, particularly over the last 5 years, understanding myself; who I am, what I stand for, what my values are and after many years of trying to change who I am because an ex partner or ex boss told me I should, I came to the realisation of the strength in self-awareness and self-acceptance — I am a sensitive person.
This is where it got really interesting …
… as I realised that being sensitive meant I had a natural deep understanding of people.
And I realised how important this is in life.
Sensitive people really do have their own superpowers:
The characteristics of sensitive people
These are just some of the adjectives that are associated with this definition of sensitive:
- Empathetic
- Emotionally intelligent
- Warm, open
- Compassionate
- Intuitive
- Socially confident
People tend to open up to us because we are all of these things above — for this reason we make great listeners and we empathise and understand all sides of the story.
Let’s explore this further:
How do these become superpowers?
We know how to get the best out of people — Knowing and understanding people means you understand and listen to their strengths and therefore enable them to thrive in their perfect environment (at work / in a specific school / in other situations).
We can motivate people and get them excited —we know what makes people tick so we talk do different people differently to motivate and inspire them and bring them on board with our vision.
We will likely be a good communicator — not scared of difficult conversations because we can keep calm and craft our constructive criticism carefully because we understand how others might interpret it. We also find it easy to see other people’s / partner’s / children’s perspectives.
We’re natural coaches — coaching is a great people skill — it empowers people to find their own answers and solutions to problems which builds their confidence.
We’re fair people — being fair means you will treat all people equally, with the same respect.
How to harness your superpower to your advantage:
Step 1: identify if you are a sensitive person?
Do you strongly feel your emotions? Do you cry when you see others cry or laugh when you see others laugh? Do you find it easy to empathise? Are you intuitive and compassionate?
If the answer to these questions is yes, then it sounds like you could be a sensitive person.
Step 2: recognise that being sensitive isn’t something you need to change
Despite what I was told, being sensitive isn’t something you need to change, actually far from it.
Step 3: accept yourself and lean in
Self-awareness and self-acceptance are really empowering. All people are different and sensitive people have some amazing, natural strengths (listed above). These are what make you you.
Realise that while you may feel emotions more than others, the flip side of this is that you can tune in to how people are feeling really quickly as you have great empathy.
Step 5: hone your craft
Use your skills to your advantage. Put yourself into situations where you can hone your craft.
The biggest game changer for me was around work — I developed and evolved my role to be much more about people.
Once I had done this, I flew.
Is there anything you can do in your job to work more with people / to enable them / build teams / start a coaching container to help them develop?
Step 6: understand the other side of sensitivity
Learn about the other side of the coin. Sensitive people can take things personally, get upset easily, dislike confrontation and often suppress their own feelings in favour of others. I did all of these things and let’s be honest there are times when I still do.
This isn’t “bad” it’s just who you are.
Get curious about it, learn about it. Understand how scenarios make you feel; when do you feel most sensitive, when do you get defensive, are you suppressing your own feelings in favour of others? What would happen if you did speak up?
Conclusion:
If you’re anything like I was, some of this will feel really edgy. But… lean into it.
Accepting yourself as a sensitive person means you can build on your already amazing natural strengths and really thrive in the workplace and at home.
Take some time to learn about yourself and harness the power of the brilliant sensitive soul that you are.
What do you think?
Anything else you think I’ve missed? — I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Want more?
We’ve developed a short course to help you learn who you are and embrace your superpowers. Comment the word SUPERPOWER below if you’re interested or follow us at @thelightmeupclub and drop us a message.
If you liked this article and want more, follow me on here or sign up to our mailing list where we drop in every Friday to share our tips, tricks and guides to empower you with the tools you need to take back control and redesign a life that lights you up.
