Highlights from the Imaginary Robert Evans Christmas Special, 2015

Have a seat by the fire and enjoy this time-honored holiday tradition.

Previous broadcasts have appeared on Tumblr in 2013 and 2014.

“Beatty was like Santa Claus — you could always count on him to deliver the goods.”

“They called Coppola the Nutcracker, and baby, you can guess why.”

“We moved the whole crew to Malta for the Popeye shoot. It may have been over the river and through the woods, but grandmother’s house it wasn’t.”

“When the bigwigs at Paramount saw the grosses from The Godfather, let me tell you, those lords were a-leaping.”

“His cheeks were like roses and nose like a cherry! Hopper’d been into the Christmastime sherry.”

“After Ali met Steve McQueen, I might as well have been a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce. Baby, she wouldn’t touch me with a thirty-nine and a half-foot pole.”

“My contract was up for renewal, and when Charlie Bludhorn asked if I’d been naughty or nice, baby, all I had for him was a shrug and the box office.”

“’What child is this?’ I asked Bogdanovich. ‘She’s Ryan O’Neal’s kid,’ he said. Unto Hollywood a star had been born.”

“On the Twelfth day of Christmas, I may not have been Mia Farrow’s true love, but I gave her exactly what she wanted — Rosemary’s Baby wiped the floor with Sinatra’s rival production, The Detective.”

“Up on the housetop, click click click. Down through the chimney came Old St. Nicholson, and baby, it was no secret what he had in his bag.”

“Later on Towne and Beatty conspired as they dreamed by the fire, and before the night was over, they had the outline for Shampoo.”

“Faye Dunaway was a star, baby, you could tell by the trail of wise men following behind her, bearing gifts.”

“And I’d like to think it was always said of me that I knew how to keep Paramount well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, baby, and all of us! And so, as Daryl Zanuck observed, “God bless us kids, every one.”

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated Tessa Strain’s story.