Chapter 40

That time I spent away would meet failure after failure after failure. I’d be too afraid to try again. Little did I know that it would be a decade before I did.

The year 2015, frankly, didn’t feel very promising. It was the year God knew He’d have to place Isaiah 41: 10 before my face every day in many different ways to get me to understand that I wasn’t alone. He had to tell me through facebook, twitter, someone on the radio, the Bible, the television, someone on the pulpit, randomly, without intention on my part, I WILL HELP YOU. I wanted to believe it, but I had spent so long feeling stuck and moving backwards that I didn’t think it would be possible for me. I had no way to pay for more driving lessons and my former teacher had died, causing me to believe my chances had died with him. I was holding myself in the belief that driving was not for me and that I’d have to be driven around for the rest of my life like my mother. Yet even she had her own license! How could my baby brother and younger brother be driving for years and I’m the eldest and still can’t get it together? Yet, I decided during my birth month that I would try again.

Before that my father had done his own search and found a lady who had begun her own driving school business some years ago. He got her card and gave it to me, urging me to try again. I didn’t see the point since our family never had a car that didn’t have problems and that I wouldn’t own one anyway, so why even get a license. I’d still be riding buses. That was my excuse. Yet I decided since God had promised He would help me, why not just do it to win. That’s all I wanted to do. I was tired of losing.

I studied for what seemed like forever. I had to do the written test all over. I recalled going for it 4 times in the past and dreading it as I sat at the DMV waiting my turn to go and take the test. I asked the lady at the front desk, how much I’d have to get on my test to pass.

“A 75%.” She said.

I went in and filled out the multiple choice questionnaire. I finished and rechecked my work. Then I took my paper to the lady in the back room and she sent it to be marked.

Guess what I got? You guessed it. A 75. I passed the first time around! Now I had even more confidence, I signed up the same day for a road test. I had only taken 3 and a half driving lessons with my new teacher. The last time, I spent a whole week driving around. She said she didnt believe I needed that many lessons and she also was trying to save me money by giving me a smaller package. I took the road test and failed. I was so heart broken. The police man who was testing me said to the lady that no student of hers had ever failed, and questioned my intelligence.

Yet, he did something no one ever did for me before.

He asked me if I could come back the next day at the same time to try again. I immediately gave a firm ‘yes’ and we agreed. The next day I told myself I wouldn’t make the same mistakes as I did last time. I would do the opposite. When he had told me to drive around a corner the last time and I didn’t, I was going to obey this time. Yet this time, he told me to do what I did last time. Oh-oh. Now what? He was trying to go along with how I drove instead giving me instructions he thought I wouldn’t understand. It was confusing because the way I was taught was different to the way I was being tested. When we returned to the DMV, guess what I got for my road test?

Another 75. The very next day I took the left over money that I had gotten from my father and paid for a driver’s license. I was so nervous that you probably can tell by looking at the photo they took of me. I didn’t care that day. It was mine. Finally, after so many fails, I was tasting success.