Chapter 8

I was 20 once…

Before that I was 19. The year I don’t really care to think about, but forced to every time people ask me if I’m still in school. My mind, every time, has to jump back to when I sat in the adviser's office wondering why he was saying “…you’re suspended until next year”. All I heard was ‘you’re suspended’. If they couldn’t help me to stay, then, why would I ever want to go back? I made up my mind to make it without an education. In the future I’d learn about what life had to offer along the way and maybe I could make money while I learned.

At 16, I was trying for the 3 time to get that job at K-mart’s department store, but I’d fail their assessment test miserably. If my classmate could do it, why not me? I had given up and just went on with my academics, not knowing I’d get kicked out of my dream college and land right back at K-mart’s gates. Almost ashamed, my mom came with me to help me answer the questions. The computer was wide open and no one monitored it. This time, I won. After getting your blood tested for drugs and waiting for results, you start to look to a store as your dream job. That’s when reality set in. This would be my life for the next 6 years…

Youtube had been only 3 years old at the time and only putting out foggy videos of teens without a life. I joined that online world, hoping for a way of escape from the new night life I had chosen. Since I was 14 I had started dancing as something goofy and recreational. Now it was like my wonderland and I was Alice. I could escape my reality through dance. It made me feel so full of energy — so alive! I decided to share my new found skills on youtube…forgetting that the whole world would be watching.

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