Tess Madera
Sep 9, 2015 · 2 min read

“His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it.” — Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Zaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippy, good timer, (crook? quite possibly), manic self-publicist, terribly bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch.” — Douglas Adams

“It’s always good to be underestimated.” — Donald Trump

“One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn’t be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being amazingly clever and quite clearly was so — but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous.” — Douglas Adams

Donald Trump is the World’s Greatest Troll” — Nate Silver

“Was there a reason behind it? There would be no point in asking Zaphod, he never appeared to have a reason for anything he did at all: he had turned unfathomably into an art form. He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence and it was often difficult to tell which was which.” — Douglas Adams

“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me, consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.” — Donald Trump

“Hey doll, is this guy boring you? Why don’t you talk to me instead? I’m from a different planet.” — Douglas Adams

“Show me someone without an ego, and I’ll show you a loser.” — Donald Trump

“I’m so hip I can barely see over my pelvis.” — Zaphod Beeblebrox

“Don’t get sidetracked. If you do get sidetracked, get back on track as soon as possible. Ultimately sidetracking kills you.” — Donald Trump

“And then whenever I stop and think — why did I want to do something? — how did I work out how to do it? — I get a very strong desire just to stop thinking about it.” — Zaphod Beeblebrox

“Everything in life is luck.” — Donald Trump

“No, wait… I’ll tell you something. I freewheel a lot. I get an idea to do something, and, hey, why not, I do it. I reckon I’ll become President of the Galaxy, and it just happens, it’s easy… Yeah, I work out how it can best be done, right, but it always works out.” — Zaphod Beeblebrox

Presented without comment.

Tess Madera

Written by

see the cat? see the cradle?

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