FED UP
Have you ever felt like you can’t keep fighting everyday, pushing yourself to continue?
JUST KINDA…
Fed up with all the pain my body wants to throw at me.
Fed up with all the constant disappointment I keep giving myself.
In the back of my head I keep telling myself….
I can’t win, this disease is so much stronger then me.
Have I finally lost all hope to ever getting better?
Basically just live life hoping that I could with hold myself up for just another day.
Reminding myself that I can’t let my pain show, wiping my tears that just happen to slide down my face without me knowing before my babies see them.
Trying to put on a smile so that people don’t start to ask to many questions.
The first thing they always seem to think is there is something wrong with my marriage, or her depression is kicking in, or they’re having money issues.
If they only knew what was really going on with me, inside my body, the fighting I have to do with Me, Myself and I everyday. To not give up on myself or with life, this pain hurts me so much, I just wish it would stop.
I will keep pushing myself but it’s getting harder and harder.
MY BRAIN WANTS TO STOP WORKING BUT MY HEART WANTS TO KEEP ON GOING if that makes any sense at all.
