When the Hustle pays off!
Enthralled is the one word coming to mind this Friday. For some reason, seeing my son in the back seat of the rental I’m in, with banana all over his face, un strapping his shoes and then whining about it in some gibberish…just an overwhelming sense of gratitude and connection hit me.
I was told several times, my child will continue to stretch my capacity to love. What I heard was an ungodly amount of growth was headed my way. What I failed to realize (until this morning) was that I get also be the recipient of that.
I can’t explain much more then that.
Right now, I just feel like I’m winning. I am winning. Not in any sense of competition, but just at life itself.
My job is still picking up speed (more sales). The non-profit F4F is getting some serious roots dug in right now, while expanding behind the scenes and continually picking up support. My son is perfectly healthy. I survived a highway car crash Monday and didn’t even need medical assistance. I was at work 2 hours later. I’m in the midst of building an awareness in where my energy is being spent and getting priorities in order through action. How am I the one typing these words? Spiritual growth baby! Not really clarified on how much I asked for it vs the Powers that be just put in the position for it.
None of this has come easy. I do know, most of the opportunities to build the man I want to become has definitely come through the avenue of fatherhood. The relentlessness of continuous responsibility leaves no time for dwindling thumbs.
What at first was considered (somewhat) torturous, I now see was a very limited perception of drive. Looking back, I realize that I never treated giving up as an option and had no time to consider it. It just made (and still makes) sense to do nothing but trudge forward. Through the inconvenience, the heartache, the confusion, the anger, the regretful actions, the pure pain of grief and the epitome of lost, I found every ounce of that uncomfortability worth it on the way to daycare.
I comprehend now, that there is no such thing as loss. There is no failure or short coming, unless you give up. I’m grateful my son didn’t let me give up.