“silence is a subtle denial”

There are some things we hear in life that scar us for the rest of it just as a mind tattoo. This has been one of the most prevalent ones, an access to a barely forgotten returning point, almost like a portal, my own Groundhog Day loop, probably a karma.

I’ve always questioned myself whether, to me, this sentence bears the truth, and I’ve always come to the conclusion it probably does — or should I say did?

How subtle can silence be? As I see things now, silence has become the very opposite of subtle. Because silence not only denies your efforts, it denies your very existence. Call it an overstatement, but what else could it represent?

When we are constantly struggling to learn the barriers of social conduct and interaction because we’re all too different to act and react by standard procedures, it’s hard to stop this kind of questions from popping into my mind. It eventually comes to that point where we ask ourselves “should I make assumptions based on the so called subtle silence and remove myself from this situation? Or should I accept this as just a human difference and try to deal with it the best way I can without feeling like a disposable nuisance?”

Ah, the never ending social anxieties… how fun it is to delve into these seemingly eternal wounds.

No, I don’t think having my existence denied is subtle. It has never been.

As Ted Mosby once told his kids, “you will find out how easy it is to part ways with people in your life, so when you want them to stay, you have to do something about it”. That’s also one of those mind tattoos that I take to the heart and when we juxtapose these two things — accepting the denying silence versus doing something about it — it’s when the mindfuck happens. Where does one end and the other begin? What is the limit to keep trying to do something about it before becoming a clueless attention whore, but also without jumping to conclusions?

In my humble opinion, honesty will always prevail as the best way to avoid these very tiresome and, may I add, frustrating situations.

Let’s be honest with each other, shall we? It shouldn’t hurt. And if it does, I’m fairly certain it would hurt less than simply walking away.

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