If you are a millennial, nearly all of the messaging we received from schooling and popular culture is misinforming. We celebrate instant fame, success, body or personality improvements, cures, and love. That is not how anything actually gets done.

Instead of learning the hard way, we love to sit in learned helplessness, not do anything, take the safe way. It’s easy, familiar, and comfortable.

We like to blame circumstance, other people, ask “why me” or complain. We ping-pong back and forth between catastrophizing and fantasizing with our emotional, spiritual, social, vocational, and personal sense of self in a never-ending avoidance of the very fact that we have no idea what is really going on.

Then, we spend much of our existence filling in this emptiness we all feel with glossed over experiences — healthy (like yoga, meditation, or spending time with family and friends) or unhealthy (drinking, drug abuse, emotional dependency on those around us, unsafe behavior) — that offer a temporary escape, relaxation, easy, pain, hope, small life or small death.

Or, we pursue societally-accepted or celebrated identities that offer social value and meaning like becoming a doctor, lawyer, or banker.

We convince ourselves that everything we need to fill in our soul is just beyond our reach and we’ve got to dedicate our life to Christ, graduate college, have a baby, get married or have some other punctual experience that temporarily defines our existence and gives us something to hang our identity and sense of self on.

A temporary break from the action, then, on to the next milestone in the grand grind of living up to whatever your personal expectations of ‘being a human’ are.

Always looking to the next tool.

Learn how to use the tools that are in your hands. Enjoy the fact that you have access to whatever it is that is currently accessible. Don’t let the negative thoughts and feelings destroy ourselves or others out of fear of being inadequate. Don’t limit your sense of self-worth to circumstance or comparing yourself to others.

#Liveskillfully

If you don’t know how…just ask.

— Adam

founder of the marbles app