Life lessons for those still trying to find their way.
When I began to morph into a lady, I was not prepared for a lot of things. No one told that I will question my looks, hate my body, work without expecting results. They lied to me about adulthood, and here I am facing the bitter truths.
It feels like I was given thousands of blank pages and forced to come up with my own story with strict guidelines.
At first it was hard, but I was told by other authors that it will get better.
I was forced into alot of cliches, a life everyone likes, a life a lady is meant to follow. When I wanted to revolt, I was shown and told of examples of authors that behaved like that.
There were times I felt like tearing out an experience, rewriting a mistake, times my emotions wrote rather than my heart, times I wished to be another writer.
Then there is the editor, the one waiting patiently to wipe out my characters, tone down my experience because it was too harsh, unrelatable, not to be heard, not expected from a lady.
Who am I to argue?
But, I decided to block all the noise and slowly, I started developing my own writing pattern, my own flow, and in my own time, I revisited what I wrote to edit my story, not to erase any of it but to learn and make it better. I learnt from the writers their journey resonated with mine.
I am still writing, still editing, still learning but this is what I have learnt so far..
Define your own beauty standards: I realized that any Instagram model I admire, if I were to be her, I will still feel ugly and if someone else has my body, I will still wish to have that look. It wasn’t about the look, it’s about the feeling, the confidence.
What I called big eyes, someone called it cute poppy eyes. What I called sloppy eyes, someone called it doe eyes. What I called huge lips, someone called it full lips. When I called my body average, someone called it thick.
As someone who has been on both big and small size, I discovered that if you don’t love yourself because you don’t have something or don’t look a certain way, if you still get that, the love is still not there. What you love is the want, not yourself.
This realization led me to set my own beauty standards, what worked for my body, my face and what doesn't.
The ugliness in perfectionism: Before now, I had the world most problematic phone, the drop down menu remains visible in any app, it calls someone on its own, the keyboard lags, you have to wait for five minutes before any app loads, all these kept me away from writing. I usually told myself that if I had a better phone, I will write everyday fast forward to today I have a good phone but I barely write.
There are many things I have missed out on, things I have not started due to perfectionism.
Perfectionism makes what is available invisible and blurs possibilities.
What happened to writing in paper?
This is easier said than done. I am currently trying to avoid this in my animation journey because I find myself waiting to get an tablet before I start.
But now, I am learning to draw, use flip books for animations, and using Medium to develop my story writing skills.
The patience to build: This entails alot, the ability to get up even in times of failure, the will power to plant and expect nothing.
I still struggle with this today, within the space of two years, I went from teaching online to YouTube script writing, to copywriting, to affiliate marketing, to Fiverr and Upwork freelancing, to Amazon KDP, to graphic designing, to coding and finally to writing.
With this I can tell you that sticking to one skill is better and more profitable than jumping from one to another
Another lesson of patience is learning a skill from one source, building projects with the knowledge you have, seeking solutions when you are unable to move rather than falling into tutorial hell trying to learn everything at once.
The power of consistency: my definition of consistency is showing up even when I don't feel like it and enjoying the journey rather than waiting for the destination.
This definition has made my journey easier
These are lessons from an author to another, hoping to make your story better. If you have any tips to make mine better, feel free to share it in the comments section.
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