doors doors doors

I’m done with doors
in public
I’m not opening doors
anymore
not for people I don’t know
it’s just more trouble 
than it’s worth

say you go and open a door
for some sweet old gal
I guarantee 
a trainload of tourists 
will appear 
from nowhere
and you’ll get stuck there
frittering your day
as the sun goes down
and one tourist after another
nods their appreciation
as they enter the place
cameras close to their
face

and you know what’s worse?
when they open the door
for you
you can be getting out
of your car
after parking
they see you coming
through their binoculars
and with their big holy grin
they stand their holding
that silly door 
just standing there
grinning and 
watching and 
waiting and 
grinning and 
watching and 
waiting
as you make your way
compelled to quicken 
your private pace
as they goad you on
with their holy face
and friendly nods
as Jesus and his holy saints
smile down
from tender clouds
at this modern-day
martyr

no 
I’m done with doors

especially for women
and their purses and hats
and their complicated catch-22s
who see you near the door
and either assume
you will
(and if you don’t
then you
good sir
are certainly no
gentleman)

or they assume you won’t
(and if you do
then they assume 
you must be
some remnant of
a sad sad patriarchy
some narrow-minded dope
animated by old 
oppressions)

take this note
if I am coming in 
or going out
put my mind at ease
and leave me 
alone
I’m done with doors
so everyone please
just open
your own

____
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