Some Things I’ve Learnt About Happiness

Nitesh Kumar
Jul 30, 2017 · 4 min read
Photo by Gianandrea Villa on Unsplash

As a twenty something who has been through a few tough times, I value happiness now more than ever. I understand how important it is and how easily we ignore it in pursuit of something we don’t even want.

If you’re wondering what happened to your happy self or are feeling stuck in a funk, this might help you. I’ve been through all the things listed below and I think I’ve done fairly good to fix them, to feel at peace with myself. I don’t know how long this list is going to go…maybe I’ll keep adding things to it as they happen. So, let’s start. Things that you are doing knowingly or unknowingly that you might need to change…

  1. Keep your phone away from your bed at night. Scrolling Twitter and Instagram till 3AM isn’t going to help you and is bad for your mental health. Decide to be brave. Keep your phone away.
  2. Be less of a dick to your parents. They really care. Call them. Now. And then come back and finish the rest of this piece.
  3. Don’t let your profession dictate your lifestyle.
  4. Find your physical rhythm. You don’t need to workout 7 days a week. 4 is fine.
  5. Keep a check on what you’re eating. Do you not remember what and from where you’ve been eating stuff for the past week. Time to find out and fix it.
  6. I know it’s a cliché but drink a lot of water. You’ll be surprised how good this cliché actually works.
  7. Avoid negative people. When it comes to consuming, food and drinks isn’t the only thing you should be careful about. Think about the people around you. How do they make you feel. Be aware of the energy somebody makes you feel.
  8. That said, don’t surround yourself with yay-sayers too. You need friends who will show the mirror when necessary. But there are good ways to do that.
  9. Stop complaining. It’s a futile exercise. You’re not going to achieve something by complaining about your job or your relationship. Getting up and fixing it is what it’ll take to fix that situation.
  10. Be nice to people. It sounds very simple and obvious but it’s surprising how easily we fail at it. We can be cruel to people without even realising it. Try to REALLY be nice.
  11. Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s very easy to compare yourself with others when you’re scrolling your Instagram feed at 3AM in the morning (see point 1). Everybody’s life looks like a vacation and you’re lying in your bed, wide awake and tomorrow is Monday. What we don’t realise is that their Instagram feed is the most edited highlight reel of their life and you’re comparing it to your blooper reel. Your trajectory and journey are different from other people. I’m not asking you to wait for things to come your way but rather asking you to forge your own path.
  12. Don’t commit to something unless you’re sure. Saying NO is hard. You instantly start thinking about the how the other person is going to judge. But if you say yes to them while you’re saying no to yourself, you’re going to do more damage in the long run.
  13. Have friends you can be yourself with, if you can’t then it doesn’t really qualify as friendship.
  14. Look around yourself. Are you sitting in your room?. How does the place make you feel? Happy, sad, disgusted? It might not be in your control to change your place but it’s always in your control to get up and clean it. Make it liveable. So, you’d want to come back to this place after a long day at work.
  15. Stop chasing highs. You can be chasing highs in number of ways, the likes and retweets you’re getting on social media or something else. Know that it’s temporary and reality will strike back sooner or later. Get back to reality by yourself and fix things that need to be fixed. That’s a longer solution.
  16. Step out. Get out of your house and step in the sunlight. Walking aimlessly around the city is one of the best things you can do on weekends.
  17. Practice gratefulness. If you are reading this, you have a computer or a phone and a working internet connection. This is way more than some people will ever have. Be grateful and stop complaining (see point 9).

This list is by no means complete. These are just experiences I’ve had in the first half of my twenties and I’ve learnt a shit load from these experiences and have grown a lot. I’ll keep adding more learnings to this list. For now, this is all I can think of.


If you find this piece useful or relatable, Please press the 💚 below.

If you agree/disagree/are angry with me, I’d like to hear your thoughts.

Thank you for reading.

I’m Nitesh.

Nitesh Kumar

Written by

Product Designer @Helpshift . Always learning . lover of food, dogs and people.

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