Boner Material: What It’s Like To Have a Hard On

I couldn’t really find a good picture for this topic.

After a few Google searches of phrases like “Sexy Man Package”, I started to start questioning my own sexuality as David Beckham’s junk in the latest Hanes ad was staring back at me. Sorry, I’m more of a Cristiano Ronaldo man myself.

Besides, what if I run for office one day? I can’t have Fox News running airtime ads of hacker headlines saying “He ran a sex blog of passion, dominance, and submission AND he googled men’s hard dicks at the same time.” Touché, Tucker Carlson, touché.

I’m sure I’d stun the nation and win the female demographic hands-down though.

So, back on point. Men’s hard penises.

I know you ladies probably wonder, what it’s like to be a man. Well, let me tell you. It’s wonderful!

We are smarter and bigger and stronger, and just better all around. So we have that going for us. And we multitask exceptionally well, are never lazy, and don’t ever watch TV. Is this starting to sound like total bullshit yet?

Oh yeah, men’s dicks. Right. So, the hard-on. The hard dick. The ole’ stiffo. The boner. The chub. The meat stick. The Prince and the Pauper (OK, I made that one up). Maybe Mark Twain’s literary work will finally be appreciated now.

Truth is, my day, every day, starts with my hands down my pants on my hard dick, at full attention. This is a good, strong girthy one. AM hard-ons for me are like some whore fairy sprinkled pixie dust on it and never wants to go down. Hop on Kitten, just don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon. These AM fuck sessions last an eternity.

A perfect way to start a day. Nice hard cock in my hands. I want to fuck my bed it feels so good. So after treating it like an Atari joystick playing Pole Position for 5 minutes, I roll my ass out of bed, hop in the shower, fix a fine brew of coffee, and it’s off to the races with the Type A earner mode for 10 hours.

I visit Tumblr throughout the day. Usually ole Sir Porkington of Essex County pays a visit at some point, lately when some hussy sends a ‘put it right here’ target-like message of her garden. Or maybe I am rocking the tighter jeans and I feel a good position so I “work it on up”, like the Jefferson’s theme song. No? Not right?

But having a hard-on just straight up feels good.

Popping to life. I hear these women recite what it’s like to ‘get all tingly’. Us men? We get all warm.

Then, after the warmth hits, pop, then another, like a heartbeat, punching through, pants growing a tent.

Eventually, you just are dying to do something with it. Pornhub will ease the tension but there is nothing like a ‘warm, wet, oh-my-god this feels so fucking good as I split her lips and punch deep back into her and now’s its Papa’s time to shine’. Just lay back, Kitten. My hand, your neck. It’s go-time now.

Sir Porkington just got his passport stamped in Wonderland.


Originally published at The Romantic Dominant.