In-Between The Pages: A Positive NO, Uncovering Your YES

This will be the final post on productivity and then I’ll turn a different direction with the next post.

The third in the series, this is really about the power of saying NO. I was several years ago, the person who said “yes” to just about everything that came my way or was asked of me. Unknown to me, I thought this behavior was what it took and what you needed to have in order to serve others. From a productivity stand point I found that it was the absolute worst thing I could do. I did serve everyone much more, but I found I missed out serving the most important person of all, myself. I found I was not productive, I felt chained down, and ultimately I was not be able to help anyone because I burned myself out.

In 2007 I read a book by William Ury, The Power of a Positive No: How to Say NO and still get to YES that enabled me to see things very differently. It’s not really saying no to alienate or isolate which is the most common way no is invoked. You have to be able to say no at times. We need to be effective in protecting our very top interests.

The book is based on a really simple three step method. Step one is really showing you how to be assertive and protect your key interests. Step two gives you some great ways on how to resist the other side that’s trying to manipulate or approach you aggressively with their needs. And the final step takes you through how to do the first two while still getting to a YES, the right yes.

Covey does a great job of bringing this book idea to life with this quote:

“It’s easy to say ‘no’ when a deeper ‘yes’ is burning inside.” — Stephen R. Covey

Three great gifts will come to you when you’ve found through practice mastery in delivering a positive NO. You get to create what you want. You will protect what you value most. Lastly, you will change what no longer works essentially empowering you to work on your most cherished work. Thus, become crazy productive.

If you got the time there’s a great video that really sums this up that was shown at Apple’s WWDC conference in 2013 called Intentions. It’s a little over a minute long, but does a great job of showing you the power of what a positive NO can do. You can find it on Apple’s YouTube channel or searching for it by plugging into any browser “WWDC 2013 Intentions.”

One more quote to wrap this up:

“A ‘No’ uttered from deepest convictions is better and greater than a “Yes” merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.“ — Mahatma Gandhi

Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think.

- Shawn