In late May 2020, 33 women and men came together to share our stories of experiencing and witnessing spiritual and psychological abuse by Chris. We wrote a version of this article as a letter to an influential figure who had been promoting “The Enneagram of Belonging” on their platform.
In the spirit of truth and transparency, we are sharing some things we have observed and experienced through our relationships with Chris Heuertz. Some of us have been carrying the burden of this information for a very long time, but there is a strong sense among us that this is the moment when we must say what we have needed to say. We have watched for years as Chris continues to grow his sphere of influence. With his recent publications and the promotion of his books by culture makers, we have grown increasingly concerned at the access these people and their platforms provide him.
Chris has harmed many people and we cannot remain silent anymore. Our hope is that by speaking up, we can halt a cycle of abuse. Our fear is that by our silence, vulnerable people could potentially be wooed by him and endangered, thus perpetuating the cycle of abuse and its associated shame and silence — while the abuser continues to grow his circle of influence.
Many of us have known Chris and his wife, Phileena, for more than 20 years. Some of us went to college or youth group together; we were friends; we traveled, worked, worshipped, and shared life together; he was our boss; we looked to him as our spiritual leader.
Chris has a powerful charisma that easily wins the confidence of others. But over time, he shows a pattern of betraying that confidence by spiritually and psychologically abusing people in his circle. We’ve observed Chris put people in positions of financial indebtedness, instigate division between team members, and create an atmosphere of chaos, confusion, and self-doubt. He has used, tokenized, manipulated, bullied, and controlled many of us.
As a gifted and passionate speaker, Chris easily attracts young people — especially college-age women, and particularly women of color — who want to make a difference in the world. The early stages of these friendships are full of compliments and flattery, making impressionable young people feel seen and chosen by this powerful person. Chris eventually invites these young people to join him in his work through service-related travel, internships, or staff positions. Often, these individuals move away from their family and support systems to join him. Chris and Phileena offer opportunities for growth and increased leadership, lavish praise and attention, expensive dinners, and frequent gifts.
Once the connection is built, Chris leverages his power in the relationship in order to cross healthy boundaries. Among other things, this has looked like flirtation or suggestive language followed up with messages to say it was just a joke or to check to see if the person is okay, tokenism, cruel or manipulative criticisms, intense arguments followed by equally intense reconciliations that foster artificial intimacy, denigrating one’s reputation with the result of ostracizing them from the group, and unwelcome and inappropriate comments and touch. The victims are left isolated from family and friends and confused as to how their “friend” has treated them. Confrontations are quickly silenced by Chris, who can easily point to his generosity toward this person.
This pattern persisted for years at Word Made Flesh, the nonprofit organization that he led — until 2012 when the board of directors finally asked Chris to leave the organization after multiple instances of sexually predatory behavior toward young women of color he mentored. A great deal of secrecy and misinformation surrounded Chris’ dismissal so that even those who were in leadership remain confused about the details — a result that was typical within Chris and Phileena’s co-directorship. We have seen no true acknowledgment of this part of his story or evidence that Chris has done the work needed to change his behavior. Therefore, we feel a responsibility to share what we know.
Victims in situations like this have often been groomed, experienced trauma bonding, and are afraid to speak out after leaving the relationship. It has taken some of us years of therapy and healing work to reclaim our voices. Many have needed time and distance from the situation to see the high-control nature of it clearly and to resolve our own shame arising from feelings of complicity.
Initially, 33 people came together to share our stories and write a version of this article as a letter to an influential figure who had been promoting one of Chris’ books on their platform. Since then, we have been approached by a number of additional people who have either been victimized by Chris and/or want to include their support for speaking out. This process has facilitated a wider conversation about accountability and protection and our hope is that this article will help to warn the public about his behavior.
We have a growing number of victim accounts, including a letter to the Word Made Flesh board describing the spiritual and sexual abuse of a student that Chris mentored in 2009 and a personal victim statement that is being shared on a case-by-case basis. If you would like to add your account to those that are available, we invite you to reach out to tellusaboutchris@gmail.com. Your privacy will be honored if you do so.
If after reading this article, you would like to add your name in testament of your own experience or in support as a witness to the experience of another, please do so with your “co-sign” in the comments.
