Time might be a social construct

“You are mad”, “Are you having sexual problems?”, “If you were my son, I would disown you and look at quick ways to kill you because you can't bring shame to my family” are some of the things you might likely hear if you are a young Nigerian that doesn’t see the need to get married rather early in life -by early, I'm talking about in your late twenties to earliest of thirties. As a Nigerian you are expected to have a good job and get married by the time you are twenty eight years old. The moment you clock the thirty mark, your parents that were previously petty in getting rid of you from their house would get into a new round of petty where you will be compared to every Tom, Dick and Harry that has a wife and child. Sometimes your mother might even shed tears about the shame that will be brought to her in the absence of grandchildren.

I grew up knowing or thinking it was the normal thing for a father to help out with chores in the house because my father would help out with everything and anything he could help with in the house. I and my mother had asthma and as a result, we couldn’t do sweeping or dusting in the house. My younger sister was the baby of the house then and my dad who is in love with his family will not let anybody do any work he can do. My dad would sweep, dust and sometimes make dinner for the house. While this is not an article about how my father is the best person alive and my family when we are not having funny arguments is the best place in this world, I am trying to build up to a point. I grew up knowing that as a father, you have to be there for your wife and children all the time every time.

I am currently in the university getting a Bachelor's degree for the second time in my life. I didn't finish it the first time. When I am done, I will be getting a Masters Degree in Creative Advertising after which I will be getting a new Bachelor's Degree in History or Art. The reason being that I can’t enter the academia if I get a Masters Degree in History with my BSc. in Economics and I want to lecture Art History. When I am done with this, I want to travel around Africa and help rework the methodology to education in Africa. I might get to explain this in a future post. All this time, I will be way past the ‘Settle down’ period allocated for young Nigerian men to settle down and have a beautiful woman make a honest man out of them. I have learned not to let anybody change you — not to drop any of your dreams for a person because you will end up resenting that person. I will also not be anything less than what my father was to my mother and my siblings to my wife and children. I am of the opinion that marriage and children are a huge commitment that should be taken only when you’re ready for it. In this vein, time is only a social construct. It is basically an aggregation of the perception of the public on issues or events. While marriage and children and maybe grandchildren are a thing of joy, nobody should be pressured into getting into a marriage especially when they have not done some of the things they would love to do. It will be argued that getting another set of degrees up to a PhD. while married will work, but if it would mean spending time away from my wife and family, I’d rather not go for it. I would not want to resent my family so I think people should get into marriage at any time they want to.

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