I’m a reporter in Mexico. My life is in danger. But the United States wouldn’t give me asylum
Washington Post

While I know you are not exaggerating the conditions, it’s important to point out you were not actually denied. You need someone experienced in the asylum process since it is so extremely complicated, so your biggest mistake was not getting an attorney or advocate immediately. You don’t go in to a lot of detail, but from what you wrote your claim probably wouldn’t have met the necessary criteria, but you gave up before trying. Since ICE denied you parole, you could have requested an audience with a judge to request a bond. A good attorney would have gotten you released. Then, even if your first attempt is denied you can appeal all the way to the Supreme Court, which will assure you several years in the United States.

The point is.. the facilities and tactics used by ICE are certainly questionable, but most of the time your life is worth it. We should never stop insisting everyone is treated with dignity, but you needed to familiarize yourself with the process and your rights. ICE cannot detain someone indefinitely, so knowing your rights perhaps would have given you the courage to keep fighting.

You could technically try again if you were able to get a waiver for the deportation. Contact an asylum attorney to help you with this.