May 6th 2016

One of these days, one of these posts is going to be epic. I started writing down things I want to talk about in my journal that I carry around with me. I started using it for the podcast for when I listen back and want to remember what to talk about on my video journals.

I feel desperate for some kind of traction on something I am doing. Nothing I do currently gets enough people excited. One of my big goals for the podcast is to get 100 downloads the day I drop a new episode. I think I talked about this already… I dropped an episode yesterday and got 13 downloads. That’s about average. I thought there would be more because people seemed excited about it on social. Someday… I have a couple interviews coming up that I am excited to put out. I am on the fence sometimes about how long I should continue. I don’t feel like I am getting enough support from the community I am trying to support. I know that sounds like a complaint. I don’t like to complain but I am gong to leave it.

I’d like a girlfriend. I don’t know how to find someone that I am interested in that’s also single, and close enough to me to actually date. I have never been the type of guy women naturally gravitate toward so it’s a lot of work for me to engage with them. Which is not that easy for me. Even on line. You’d think it would be a bit easier. Granted I am picky I know that someday I will write a long post about it. I feel in love with a girl on line once, I meet her on OKcupid. We never met in person she lived in Missouri. We talked for like 3 years then last summer she vanished. We were friends on facebook she either deleted her FB or blocked me and stopped texting with me. I know you are probably thinking she was a fake person. We talked on the phone a couple times and the way she used social made it feel like she was real. Her name is Kelly Robinson. Should I say that? Well if you know her let her know I’d love to talk with her again. Someday I will meet someone that does it for me, I have to believe that otherwise I may sink it to a crazy deep depression and I don’t want to do that.

That’s enough for today.