I blame you

So, today has been another eventful day. I went swimming in an open water lake, a beautiful open water quarry lake near some random place called Ottiyambakkam.

It’s not exactly random anymore to me. You shall shortly know why.

This is how the lake looks. It’s a beautiful huge lake where when the sun rises, it looks like a fresh half boil in a blue non stick pan. Boy, swimming there was like paradise.

So I went there by car, since it’s somewhere in the middle of nowhere near some place called Medavakkam (Is that even the city?), which in turn is near a place called Velachery (Jesus Christ, we’re talking city here).

You see, my car is my only possession. Like I deeply connect with it. When I rotted my heart out in an IT company, every month I squirrelled up for this one grand investment.

I know that if my parents suddenly decide to throw me out saying I won’t get anything from their wealth, then apart from a few boxers and a mosquito racket, this car will be my only true possession — My own money saved up and invested into my car — Like it is well and truly mine.

Now that I’m an entrepreneur as well, and I have no salary, I keep getting inspired by these American entrepreneurs who work out of station wagons. So, if my parents indeed decide to throw me out, I shall take my laptop (borrowed, of course) and work out of my car, my little entrepreneurial station wagon.

Back to the story..

So, I finished swimming today and came back to my car, changed and got to work. Later at work, I walk to my car and randomly spot this.

I was like some idiot leaned back and scratched some key in my car. Okay, idiots exist. I let it slide.

Then I saw this.

And this.

Now it hit me. Some rascal ruffian vandalising fiend had just decided to run amok on my car with his useless key or stone. On my precious possession.

I blame you, you rascal

I may even forgive the fact that you scratched my car. But you, you idiot rascal with no education, you scratched it for no reason.

That place didn’t have a soul that knew me and there were 22 other cars parked. I hadn’t done any wrong to any of them for them to exact vengeance. Neither have I done anything to you. Yet, you randomly decided to see what it feels like to ruin someone’s car.

I blame your parents

They must be outright idiots for not educating you the right way — that they didn’t tell you ‘Listen, son. Don’t ruin cars. But if you do ruin one, at least do it because they did something to you, not for no reason.’

I blame them because they were fools who didn’t understand the importance of values and didn’t pass on anything to their son either.

‘Hey there, uncle and aunty. Just wanted to stop by and let you know that your son, is bloody stupid. He scratched my car for no reason!’

I blame this government

Their parents might say they can’t afford to educate the child. They will say that they themselves are poor wage earners.

Hi Government. Why are you ignoring such downtrodden people? See the problem now? They are growing up to be outright stupid — Like this man. He is a little dumber than a retarded manatee, thanks to your education programmes, or rather lack of it.

I blame this society

I hate every single person in that area because they allowed such idiots to exist in their midst.

Hey town! This one man is bringing down the average IQ of your entire town by a good 30%. Apart from that, he might ruin your houses or pee on your cows or something.

Why? Oh wait, for no reason.

Finally, I blame you and me

I blame you because you could have, in some way, been a contributor to this evil doing.

I blame me for not being able to think of what that way could have been right now.

But I need to say this.

Listen, young man or woman who did this! I may never see you again. There is a good chance we might not even cross paths once in our life. But if we do — boy oh boy, if we do, my son, I shall ensure I wreck your entire life. I shall tear it to shreds. I shall watch you burn. But I wouldn’t be doing any wrong. You know why? Because I have a reason for doing what I did.

I blame you, me, the country and every one of them.

And finally, I blame all the people who sleep on the sidewalk.

Oh, wait. No. I blame my driver.