Why so many people hate goodbyes

To make room for something new we need to find a way of saying ‘goodbye’ to the old. Or at least say ‘see you later’. For many people this is something almost impossible. Why is that?

Depending on who we are, our decisions are driven by different needs. Some are driven by variety and new experiences. Others seek certainty and balance. Of course we all need a bit of both, but the key is to understand which one drives your decisions to go and what creates that knot in your stomach when you have to say goodbye.

For most people it’s a fear of loosing the connection we have with the person we are saying goodbye to. I’d recommend to check out this video that I recorded a little while ago to explain more about fear and how it works. Because when you know this you can choose if you want to listen to it or not.

So what are the 3 keys to saying goodbye and open up to enjoying the adventure that awaits?

  1. Make the goodbye fun and meaningful. Book in an activity, a party or a little weekend away with the ones you will miss the most. Make it a celebration of your friendship and connection and leave on a note of gratitude of how important these people have been in your life.
  2. It’s not goodbye forever, it’s just ‘see you later’! Whenever possible, book in the next time you’ll see or speak to the person. Maybe agree that you’ll have a Skype coffee every Sunday or that you’ll book in a trip to meet half way in 3 months time. Get creative and find a way of meeting up reasonably soon.
  3. Visualise the new friends and connections you’re doing to make. With the gratitude for the friends and experiences you’ve already had in your life, imagine how many new people and experiences you’ll connect with. When you have an open and curious mind, you will inevitably attract other people who are in exactly the same situation as you — new in a city/country and looking to explore and make new friends in the process.

Have fun on your travels and don’t allow the sadness of the goodbye to hold you back too much. When fear and uncertainty hits you, make sure to remind yourself “I’ve got this” and “Imagine all the people out there who are just waiting to have a similar experience to me”. Saying goodbye to old friends is never final. It’s only as big a change in your friendship as you allow it to be.

Emmy Petersson
Relocation Mindset Specialist
The Bridge Easy Relocation

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