I totally get that. FWIW, this is a life skill that’s very valuable to continue to struggle against. Cuz it’ll keep comin’ up and comin’ up.
I’ve got lots of coding experience, but I’m blogging through my attempt to start some screencasts. Here’s a quote from a recent post like yours:
“It’s easy for me to get focused on the limitations I have in any given day with the small amount of personal time I have right now to put into this, and then have that morph unconsciously into ‘I’m stuck and I have no options and this isn’t going anywhere anyway.’ … Which is classic shame, baby.”
The best folks I’ve met in coding (and life) are those who are the first to admit they don’t know something, and are comfortable asking questions. I think blog posts like this may be worth more to you than the technical stuff. Tech stuff will change, the emotional skills remain.