The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies: *sigh*

Well, we made it. End of the road. Its done. El fin. And, I left the theater, not feeling hot anger or debilitating excitement. I sat down in my seat. Watched a 2 hour movie, and left. Battle of the Five Armies just failed to capture me, and that is its problem: it is forgettable.

Battle of the Five Armies starts off well. The tyrannical dragon, Smaug, lays waste to Lake-town, but, then, he just dies. It undoes everything the previous movie’s cliffhanger set up. After that little footnote, the rest of the plot is just battle. A good 70% of the movie was just a great battle. Now, there were some parts of the story that were cool. Thorin Oakenshield (Armitage) and his character arc were the true stars of the show. The way Thorin went to loyal, caring questing mate to a vengeful, despondent king was chilling. Thorin transformed into the one thing he hated: the dragon, and it is a pity that his plot line could not hold up the rest of the film. Martin Freeman as Bilbo is just great. From nervous, jittery, ordinary hobbit to hardened warrior and theif, one cannot do anything else but realize the stroke of genius the casting department had with Freeman. Its a pity he has a screen time of about 7 minutes. The movie is called The Hobbit, but the titular character is hardly in it. The forced love triangle is even more forced. At least in Desolation of Smaug, the love triangle felt like it gave a little bit of depth to some members of the company, but, here, the romance clunky and misused. When the dwarf died (I can’t even remember his name), I did not cry in grief for a beloved character, rather I jumped out of my seat in exhilaration.

The real showcase of this movie is the Battle of the Five Armies. The movie is just a CGI-fest, equal parts awe-inspiring and annoying. The CGI is well done, but it just lacks the visceral-ness the original trilogy had. Quite frankly, if the viewer spaced out for just a moment, they could imagine they were watching a cartoon and not the conclusion to an epic triology.

While the battle is cool, it starts to wear thin 15 minutes in. The problem with this movie is that it is all climax, with no rising action or crucial points to keep one interested. The stakes stay at the same level the entire film, and there is just no release. The resolution, was a bit of disappointment, with the eagles coming, once again, to save the day, but Bilbo’s return to Bag End was funny and most welcome.

Overall, Battle of the Five Armies made me wish that Peter Jackson had kept The Hobbit as its original two-movie saga. From retrospect, if one kept only 30 minutes of The Unexpected Journey, 30 minutes from Battle of the Five Armies, and divided Desolation in half, one can see the skeleton of a satisfying and enriching story. Alas, it seems Jackson’s Middle-Earth fetish is starting to get old. 5/10