2016 — Day One: Waiting to be Arrested

Is that a police car? Wait, is THAT the cops?

New Year’s day → I just delivered an unprecedented (for me) dose of road rage. Now I’m convinced the cops are headed to my house. Way to start 2016, asshole.

The day began fine enough. Actually, pretty fantastic. Had just seen “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”. Rey is a fuckin’ badass and I will watch absolutely anything Oscar Isaac is in. I left the theatre happy. VERY satisfied. They blew it with Princess Leia, though. (Used to think I should curse less, being a lady. But I’m too old to give a shit. Vulgarity can add dimension and emphasis to language almost without rival. Even President Obama cusses!)

Getting on the freeway very hungry for some Taqueria San Jose, I see this jerk in the mirror humping my rear bumper. Then swerving left to right. The hell? It’s a one-lane freeway on ramp. There’s a van driving at a snail’s pace in front of me. We’re all stuck going 40 mph. As we finally hit the freeway, he energetically flips me off numerous times. What. The. Fuck.

Old mature me would have been mad for 30 seconds, then shrugged it off. “Not worth the time or energy, Maureen.” Stayed in my comfort zone. Where was this rational person yesterday? I kick my Subaru into high gear and go after this mofo, get right up behind him. And then I swerve left to right, high on adrenaline. No idea what I’m doing, but keep doing it anyway. Then he gets PISSED. Waves me up to the side of his car. And keeps flipping me off. What the hell was I thinking?!

Very quickly I’m off the freeway. Forget Taqueria San Jose. Soon I am in Cost Plus clumsily shopping the 50% off post-Christmas sale. Always a great bargain, but can’t focus. What did I just do? Did anyone write down my license plate number & file a police report? What the hell’s wrong with me?

At home, I listen intently to every car that passes. Waiting for the police to arrive. To hear deep voices as they exit their patrol car in the cold, doors slamming shut. Time passes and the cops don’t come.

I should have let it go. I know. Something exponentially bad could have happened. What if that idiot had had a gun? But part of me also noted that I didn’t just accept this guy’s ridiculous behavior and let him drive off without incident. I recommend NO ONE do what I did → one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done. It could have gone to shit in so many ways. Apparently 2016 is the year where I encourage myself to go beyond my comfort zone, with an updated qualifier: only when it really REALLY matters. Please 2016, don’t let me get arrested as I figure out the difference.