The Wrecking Trifecta: Three Things that are Blocking Your Goals

I saw a fantastic quote yesterday: “The magic you’re looking for is in the work you’re avoiding.”

Seeking some magic myself, I immediately started introspecting about my current goals, and subsequently, the work I might be avoiding to accomplish them.

Because right now, I have some terrifyingly-large aspirations. And I find myself creating to-do lists in my phone to accomplish them, only to let those lists sit and collect digital dust.

It’s not complicated. I’m not doing the work. With no work comes no magic. And the reason I’m not doing the work is what I like to call “the wrecking trifecta.” The trifecta consists of the following three goal-blockers:

1. You Don’t Actually Want It.

If you’re like me, there are goals you’ve set, perhaps even with a clear-cut action plan, but you just haven’t sprung into action.

A former coach of mine would tell us that this is a form of self-sabatoge. In other words, there’s a reason we’re not diving into those tasks. Sure, it could be a lack of time. But it could also be that deep down, maybe we don’t actually want to accomplish a certain goal.

Here’s a ridiculous example: Let’s say your goal is to become a circus clown. (If you actually do want to become a circus clown, my bad. Don’t @ me.) Now let’s say you have the funds to go to clown school and get your degree. You also have plenty of time to devote to this gleeful passion. Plus, people besides your mom have actually told you you’d be great at it.

But here’s the thing: When you were a kid, your great uncle’s second cousin joined the circus. For years, he was the “Uncle Bruno” of the family and we don’t talk about… never mind.

So subconsciously, your brain has connected a circus career with being a family outcast. Therefore, you’re dreaming of that big red nose, but you’re unknowingly throwing obstacles into your own way to prevent yourself from achieving that goal.

So as you look at your ambitions, you may have to dig below the surface. Ultimately, you just want to make sure you’re not trying to plant your tree in some shitty soil.

2. You Have Unrealistic Expectations.

On the other hand, there are goals with unrealistic expectations. In this instance, you’re simply setting yourself up to be disappointed.

As it relates to entrepreneurship, I’ve always said that when people aim to open a business, they picture their very best day. If that’s you, let’s talk about your goal.

Do you envision yourself with your feet up on your desk, not a care in the world? Do you see thousands of happy employees lining up outside your door to congratulate you on your success? Are you surrounded by so many towering piles of cash that you’re running out of room in your massive office?

I have some bad news. I’ve been an entrepreneur since 2011 and not once has my workspace been cramped by my cash. However, my cash — or lack thereof — has sporadically cramped my ability to sleep.

Over the years, I’ve been asked for advice about starting a business. So I’ll share one of the most common pieces of advice I’ve given. Start by thinking about your absolute worst day on the job.

In my gym owner role, here’s what that looks like: I’m swamped with admin tasks like payroll and coach scheduling. I just got an email that one of my most consistent members is moving to another state. The stereo is only playing out of one speaker and someone just clogged the toilet.

Now, I think back to the first time I ever thought, ‘Maybe it would be fun to open a gym.’ Had someone told me to picture this toilet-clogged day, I may have reconsidered.

Instead, I pictured myself coaching a room full of the happiest humans you’ve ever met. They loved me and I loved them, and it was like Woodstock but with fitness and less drugs.

I had goals with unrealistic outcomes and therefore set myself up for disappointment. (Luckily, the humans at my gym are in fact, pretty rad and we do have a helluva good time.)

3. You Think This is Gonna Be Easy?!

Finally, the third reason you might be avoiding the work: It’s hard.

When’s the last time you met someone who accomplished an epic goal, only to have them say, “No big deal. It was easy.” Some goals take months. Some years. And every once in awhile, a lifetime. But it stands to reason that the longer and harder you have to work at something, the more gratifying it is to reach it.

Now, let me throw a wee little wrench into this.

I once heard a story about a guy who made it his life’s goal to climb Everest. The training was brutal. Day after day for years. And guess what? He made it. He reached the summit, only to realize that it wasn’t worth it. All that time he had spent away from his wife and kids, skipping events with family and friends for years? Not worth it.

So this probably goes back to the “make sure you want it” advice. But truly, MAKE SURE YOU WANT IT. There’s nothing wrong with pivoting on a goal, and you should as it evolves. But it will benefit you greatly if you first ensure your achievements align with your values, lifestyle, mental health, schedule, etc.

Now, Go Do the Thing.

Once you’ve cross-referenced your goals with the wrecking trifecta, there’s simply one thing left: Do the thing. You’ve determined that you actually want to pursue it, you’ve set realistic expectations and you’re rational about the time it’s going to take.

Once you’ve cleared these three hurdles, avoiding the work is simply keeping you from the magic you deserve. So set your big goals, make a plan and get after it.