The budget: Chapter 22 of Surviving DEI at Adyen N.V.
The twenty second chapter of Surviving DEI at Adyen N.V. Marie-Anne Leuty (she/her) shares the experience of being allegedly invited into the fintech to do DEI work and The Study Group’s current legal fight to allegedly be recognised and paid for that culturally sensitive and important work.
Hi everyone,
My name’s Marie-Anne and you’re reading chapter 22 of 25 of an educational case study detailing The Study Group’s alleged experience doing specialist DEI work for fintech giant, Adyen N.V.
When I started to write this blog on 27 November 2023, I never envisaged it becoming a 30,000 (and counting) word research paper.
It just came pouring out.
A month later on 26 December 2023, we published this on The Quick + The Brave, our independent, BIPOC founded media platform, evoking the Dutch Whistleblower Protection Act of 18 February 2023.
It’s also available in full here on Medium.
In this chapter, after making a series of updates to our proposal, Adyen N.V.’s HR department allegedly allocates The Study Group a budget of [AMOUNT REDACTED] in June 2023 for development of the second year of the program. An alleged 70% reduction announced six months into the financial year.
Creatives from the community voice their frustrations about the alleged lack of transparency and payment, coming to their own conclusions about why the alleged delays are so long.
In the midst of it all, we welcome our first child into the world. With no choice but to work throughout our antenatal period, the physical impact of working to term impacts the wellbeing of our unborn baby. Fortunately, we find advocacy to support a safe arrival.
We’ll release chapters daily so follow us for notifications about the latest releases…
The full 30,000 word educational case study was first published on The Quick + The Brave. Visit the blog to read and see full image galleries.
Learn more about and support The Study Group Foundation.
Pre-sale for ‘mini maatje’ ‘Advocates and Allies’ issue soon available via The Quick + The Brave.
By publishing this blog, The Study Group evokes the Dutch Whistleblower Protection Act (Wet bescherming klokkenluiders) of 18 February 2023.
The full act from the Ministry of Interior and Kingdom Relations is available in Dutch and English.
Want to help amplify our story to other media? The Act protects all stakeholders who share it (clause 1a. Duty of confidentiality and data protection).
Chapter 22: The budget
The next few weeks were a blur of further proposal revisions and back and forth emails.
We had that cup of coffee with the Vice President of Design and Senior Vice President of HR to discuss the budget.
We explained that our expectation was that the financial support in the second year of the program’s development would be in line with the first year’s budget. That was how the rejected invoice in February had been calculated.
The SVP of HR allegedly had questions.
“We’ve given you a lot of money, how have you spent it?”
On the invoices of the specialist creative and production team working on the podcast, manuscript and brand, in addition to the overheads for our studio representatives of your company allegedly came to visit.
“Why hasn’t the podcast aired yet?”
We’re waiting for payment from Adyen N.V. for work close to completion and the creative team cannot work for free. Draft versions of the podcast were allegedly shared with Adyen N.V. as early as November 2022.
“This is the most we’ve ever spent on DEI.”
Red flag.
This is triggering.
We mentioned in the voice note and in person that this alleged weaponisation of the budget was an approach that could be seen as a power play. Did anyone in Adyen N.V. allegedly take the content of our voice note seriously?
There was no alleged urgency on the part of Adyen N.V.
A week later, I WhatsApped our main contact and shared a clip from the interview at the start of the collaboration.
I was listening back to the interview from last year and wanted to understand if the goals and intentions we talked about are still the case. If so, what can or should we expect from Adyen N.V?
I want to see things progress but I’m concerned that the sign off process has stalled
Tomorrow it’ll be a week since sending the revised proposal. I’m no closer to knowing if [BRAND NAME REDACTED] will continue into its second year and it doesn’t feel great 😔
– WhatsApp from Marie-Anne to the Vice President of Creative at Adyen N.V.
He replied:
This indeed takes long. I already asked for an update. So let me do that again.
– Reply from Vice President of Creative at Adyen N.V. to Marie-Anne
In the meantime, we continued to work alongside the designers and post-production team.
The brand identity and logo for the program were finished and we were proud to see the results of their work. They also shared the progress made on the Workbook.
Feedback from Adyen N.V.’s Design Studio was allegedly as positive as ever.
The designer studying at the London College of Communication was due to head back to the UK so we organised a team dinner to thank her for working with us and to wish her safe travels home.
On June 8, we arranged to cook dinner for the team.
The mentees joined, as did one of the guests interviewed on the podcast.
On the way to the meal, the Senior Vice President of HR emailed about the alleged budget:
Hi both,
Thank you for the overview.
We have discussed this internally and the maximum budget we can free up for this partnership is [AMOUNT REDACTED] EUR (incl. taxes) in total.
This is already the highest budget we have spend on a partnership.
We’d love to hear what we can achieve together — considering this budget.
If this means we need to reprioritise the projects, let’s have that discussion then together with [NAME REDACTED].
Looking forward to your reply.
– Email from Adyen N.V. to The Study Group
Earth shattering.
An alleged 70% budget reduction in the second year of the program, made known to us halfway through the year.
As we cooked dinner with the young creatives, we held it together.
We were spending the evening with the people who made the program what it was and gave it purpose while we had to hold the knowledge that the efforts they had put into the program may allegedly be disassembled.
Trying to stay present was a challenge.
Questions abounded for us.
What on earth were we meant to do about this?
How far would we have to stretch this money?
Why did it take so long for this decision to be made?
Why weren’t we consulted once as the creators and Program Directors of the initiative?
We were in no position to ask for more and didn’t know what rights we had.
Money was once again allegedly being used as a power play.
It was disheartening to know that we would allegedly be treated so unprofessionally after being invited in to do specialised and sensitive cultural work.
Wasn’t this the same company who had allegedly reached out to editors of Wall Street Journal, Time magazine and the Volkskrant?
Would they have had to exert this much energy to be recognised if they had replied to the Vice President of Creative instead of me?
A couple of days after submitting our first invoice since November 2022, we received the following email from a member of the creative team.
Frustrated by the late payment of their invoice, they made their feelings known.
Who could blame them?
It deeply saddened us that the team was dealing with the consequences of these delays too.
Not being in a position to be fully transparent with the team about the alleged causes of the late payments, they’d reached their own conclusions:
I have been patient with you shitting all over my work and my time, but at this point I have lost all my trust. I have no guarantee that you’ll keep your promise.
I do not agree with you paying me by the end of the month. The money needs to be in my account [DATE REDACTED] tops, or I’m gonna have to take some extreme measures like extra costs for [NAME REDACTED], or even go to the investor directly.
I hope you know I was excited for this project. So excited that I went ahead and started working on it. I made your deadlines my priority but you did not prioritise my paycheck. I actually denied other jobs because you keep pushing back the deadlines and claimed my time. I run a one man show, and one man has to pay for stuff too. If I don’t pay rent this month I’m on the street since the money should’ve arrived at least 2 months ago.
The only reasoning I get for this is that you guys are just “very busy”.
What saddens me most…. I would’ve liked this to be a seamless experience between Black owned businesses. You violated this with a lack of communication, transparency, constructive feedback, respect and payment.
I would like to know from you what you would’ve done if you were in my shoes.
Because if this is how you treat a down payment I’m scared to know what happens when you have the deliverables and it’s time to pay the final invoice.
– Email from creative on [BRAND NAME REDACTED] team to Obi
Obi came back to them the next day with Adyen N.V. in BCC.
At least now we could let the creative know the invoice was in process.
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and concerns on the project. You have every right to feel as you do and I am sorry to have let you down in this period. I hope this damage can be restored.
When we began discussing this year’s program with the sponsor (back in February) we envisioned it to be up-and- running by the start of Spring.
Unfortunately there have been a number of surprise changes introduced by the sponsor that have resulted in a series of delays to the program which have been outside of our control.
Similar to you, this extreme delay has resulted in severe issues in our work and personal lives. I mention this because I understand how you feel and don’t want to give you the impression that we don’t value you or that you’re the only person waiting on answers.
We began this program to create a sustainable and practical bridge to enable companies like Adyen N.V. to discover talent like you and the rest of the production team who saw this as an opportunity to share their best work. As a self-taught freelance [ROLE REDACTED] with a background in design, I was excited to connect with you and eager to present your work to Adyen N.V. and would still like to make that opportunity happen.
We really did not expect this process would take so long. It’s unfortunate because I know you have set time aside and planned your summer break around this — plus not being able to take on other work whilst on ‘stand-by’. We have expressed what our team is going through with these unexpected delays but sometimes I think they think our community is mythological or worse — uninformed.
But we are neither of those things. [NAME REDACTED], I’m about to begin parental leave and take some much needed time to rest and recover. We have been told the invoice is in the system and our payment request date is June 26th.
I will pass this message (along with your details and invoices) to our accountant who can assist you in the event of further delay. I understand that you want to take recovery action sooner and to be honest, I don’t blame you — but please give us until June 26th.
I will also be sharing your concerns with Adyen N.V. and will discuss it internally within our company to see how best to move forward and how to avoid this happening again.
I started this work because I was frustrated in seeing talented people being used and abused by damaging companies. Our goal was to make a safe-space where positive growth on both sides could happen — staff could feel valued and organisations could develop better business practices by creating organic ways for historically excluded people to engage with their work cultures.
I’m under no illusion that my work is hard, but I have never felt it was impossible. If I didn’t have hope then I would have given up a long time ago.
Although I’m aware and hopeful, hope doesn’t pay rent, the travel to return to the UK to see our families or cover the medical bills my wife needs for the pregnancy complications arising from overworking and stress with this project.
We have the same information as you regarding when to expect payment. I’m holding onto my last string of hope — but I have no ability to control if Adyen N.V. will handle us with the same integrity they show to others.
I am in the hope that this lengthy payment issue is because they are aligning internally as the project is now shared across departments.
For the sake of all the time, hard work and goodwill we have displayed, I still hope that is the case and not an exercise in performative allyship on a grand scale.
Either way, we will see.
– Reply from Obi to creative from [BRAND NAME REDACTED] team
Adyen N.V.’s alleged actions were seemingly impacting the BIPOC creative community on personal and professional levels and allegedly damaging The Study Group’s reputation in the process. The creative wasn’t the only member of the team to express the real impact non-payment was having on them and their families.
We had been put in an allegedly entirely avoidable and dangerous situation.
The creative came back and apologised for how they’d expressed themselves. They had no idea about the situation and were sorry to hear about the impact it was having on our family.
They concluded their message saying:
“Ever since I met you and your team, I felt like I was dealing with a real black-owned company that values quality and appreciates my work. And even after this major hiccup from your response I still hold on to that belief.”
For now, at least, we were able to give clarity and better manage the team’s expectations.
Based on the indications Adyen N.V. was allegedly giving us about the program, we’d explained to the leads on the creative and production teams that we were expecting to formalise the program with a contract over the summer.
With our due date around the corner and the budget allegedly reduced, the team rallied around us.
They understood that completing the last stages of work and producing the final assets would ease discussions about payment so they continued to work.
It meant a lot.
A lead creative upon hearing this news even reduced their rates for us — they were committed to the program. We’d collaborated for a year already by this point.
They wanted to support us and, having experience with Dutch corporate clients and, as an entrepreneur themselves, had a good understanding of the challenges we were facing.
They assured us that:
“They’ll pay. It’s the Netherlands, there are laws for this kind of thing.”
The day after replying to the creative’s email, Obi had a lunch appointment with the Vice President of Design.
Without an agenda shared ahead of time, we had no idea what it was he allegedly wanted to discuss.
We assumed that budget, the program, proposal feedback and the next steps to complete post-production on the podcast would be the focus of the conversation given the alleged recent and drastic changes.
There was allegedly also the prospect of additional contractual work for the Design Studio supposedly including the development of an in-house production equipment suite.
Usually when we spent the day at the Rokin office, we’d have lunch in the restaurant upstairs but this time Obi was invited for lunch offsite.
The Vice President of Creative focused on sharing alleged personal life experiences, asking Obi questions about his life, upbringing, his motivations, why he does this work…
After 45 minutes in the same vein, Obi had to ask:
Sorry to take the conversation in a different direction, but I didn’t know what this lunch would be about. I need to know what’s going on with the program to manage our expectations and those of our team.
Or words to that effect.
As an entrepreneur and a first time dad with a partner 37 weeks pregnant, this wasn’t an unreasonable request.
The apparent scrutiny seemed to catch our contact unawares.
The lunch ended awkwardly and abruptly.
We continued to wait for the invoice to clear and prepared ourselves for a hospital appointment to try and turn the baby.
It mattered a lot to us to be able to have a home birth.
Generally speaking home labours aren’t possible for babies who turn breech. It’s too risky so birth must take place in a hospital or birthing centre.
Starting a family in a new country means navigating unfamiliar medical services at one of the most vulnerable and transformative times in one’s life.
We tend to hear more about traumatic birth stories than positive ones.
Growing up I heard a lot about the unfortunate experiences of family and friends across generations from unnecessary interventions to coming close to losing theirs or their baby’s lives during childbirth.
While pregnancy is a vulnerable time for all expectant parents, in the case of women and birthing people of colour, numerous studies point to the disparities of access for Black mothers and birthing people to maternal health equity.
Research in the United States shows that Black mothers are three times more likely than their non-racialised counterparts to die in childbirth or from complications.
Studies in the UK and across Europe indicate similar rates. The UK government has published a report by the Women and Equalities Committee on Black maternal health outlining measures to be introduced to the National Health Service to make maternity care more safe, personalised and equitable to address these disparities.
In Joy Is Our Birthright: Striving for Black Maternal Health Equity, Carrie Byrd explains that the roots of these alarming rates are a direct result of enslavement.
“During slavery, the Black body was exploited and subjected to forced labour and gross mistreatment. Laws and policies were created so that Black women didn’t have autonomy over their own bodies.
“Enslavers relied on a Black woman’s ability to reproduce to increase the population of the enslaved. And in many cases, after giving birth Black women were taken away from their children to breastfeed and care for their white enslaver’s babies.”
– Carrie Byrd
This can mean in the current day that Black and brown mothers and birthing people aren’t listened to when at their most vulnerable; extra interventions may be used that further impact labour and recovery.
Around this time, the story of the tragic loss of US Olympian Tori Bowie in May 2023 showed clearly that even a top performing, world leading athlete, didn’t receive the medical care she needed during her pregnancy.
She died alone at her home from complications of childbirth. At eight months pregnant, she had eclampsia. Unfortunately her baby also died.
Her former running mates also had complications during their pregnancies.
Allyson Felix, the most decorated U.S. track athlete of all time, wrote in Time that:
“Tori was 32 when she died. According to the autopsy, possible complications contributing to Bowie’s death included respiratory distress and eclampsia — seizures brought on by preeclampsia, a high blood pressure disorder that can occur during pregnancy.
“I developed preeclampsia during my pregnancy with my daughter Camryn, who was born in November 2018. The doctors sent me to the hospital, where I would deliver Camryn during an emergency C-section, at 32 weeks. I was unsure if I was going to make it. If I was ever going to hold my precious daughter.
“Three gold medalists from that 4 x 100 relay team in Rio set out to become mothers. All three of us — all Black women — had serious complications. Tianna Madison has shared that she went into labour at 26 weeks and entered the hospital “with my medical advance directive AND my will.” Tori passed away. We’re dealing with a Black Maternal Health crisis. Here you have three Olympic champions, and we’re still at risk.”
– Allyson Felix
These sad stories were very real for us.
Black maternal equity matters.
It was really important for us to have a home birth, so that I could birth in our own space with minimal interventions. I didn’t know anyone who had had a home birth before so it was important to feel informed to be able to have a positive experience.
Fortunately, aside from the breech, the pregnancy was relatively smooth but we still needed counsel and advocacy like all new parents.
We’d already been forced to change midwives at the end of the first trimester because they made errors in the administration of our pre-natal tests.
This wasn’t a great indicator so we were very lucky to find another practice, Verloskundecentrum Nova, who had a greater awareness of our needs as parents from historically excluded backgrounds.
After weeks of asking through the grapevine, we finally found Kumba Tey, a Black doula based in the Bijlmer to support us as well.
Supporting at births for over thirty years, she counselled us both through the late stages of pregnancy, labour and postpartum. It was incredibly empowering to have an advocate in this time.
She gave me agency.
One of the first things she said to us was:
“When you go into a hospital, remember that you’re not a patient, you’re a client.”
– Doula Mill, Kumba Tey
Yes, this is a time in life where medical check-ups are vital for the safety of mother and child. But by making this distinction, she gave us the agency to advocate for ourselves in medical spaces.
We could articulate our needs.
We could create a birth plan to share with medical teams.
We could ask what our options were to make informed decisions.
If an intervention wasn’t needed for the safety of the baby, we could say no.
It transformed my whole outlook to break out of the cycles of anxiety around pregnancy, pain and stepping into this new role in life.
With the story of Tori Bowie and her teammates present in our minds, we were grateful to have her guidance.
On 21 June, after four painful attempts, the external cephalic version (ECV) hadn’t worked.
Baby was still head up.
I was devastated that the intervention hadn’t worked.
What were our chances like with a second attempt?
A wait of a week would reduce the chances of a successful turn by 80%.
Disappointed and distressed that the alleged pressure from our work situation was impacting the wellbeing of our unborn child, we had to do everything possible to make birth a positive experience for myself and the baby at home.
We booked in for another ECV appointment five days later.
22 June 2023, the invoice cleared ten days after issue.
The team’s invoices and our overheads were the first priority.
We’d given people our word and they’d waited long enough to be paid.
Working with integrity matters.
Unfortunately, making this choice compromised our ability to meet our building tax responsibilities.
The spike in our revenue from Adyen N.V.’s invoices in the first year of the program came with a big spike in tax and the bottlenecks caused by the allegedly structurally late payments from Adyen N.V. caused financial issues.
The accountants flagged their concerns once again, understanding our personal situation and having advised on how to proceed with future payment agreements with the tech company.
We were on a timer with the Tax Authorities. If we couldn’t meet our tax bills, our bank account would be frozen once again.
The team continued to push with us.
It meant something that they were giving us grace to help assure the longevity of the program and that they wanted to support its growth.
The design team continued to work on the manuscript, reviewing drafts, testing paper stock, prepping files for printing at the studio. Obi would come back with updates about what the team had been working on as I worked on admin and copy for the manuscript from home.
The publication was beautifully put together with illustrations, collages of each interview guest, breathing and wellness exercises as well as guidance on hard skill development such as task management and prioritisation. It was printed on RISO.
The team let us know that they had it from here — they’d manage themselves as we prepared for the arrival of our baby.
Last week of June, the appointment for the second ECV came around. Our doula joined us for moral support.
Thankfully, it was a success.
We could have the home birth we wanted. Now that the intervention had been completed, we had to be extra vigilant. The procedure can trigger the onset of labour at any time.
In the midst of all this, it’s hard to believe that we had our first baby.
It was on this journey that we felt the true impact of genuine advocacy.
Our doula worked with us a few weeks before and after birth. Her presence as we attempted to navigate an unfamiliar medical system came at the right time.
The emotional support and clear information about our options was much needed — it empowered us to make informed choices for our family.
The homebirth went well.
Family came to visit from the UK to meet and help with the baby.
This wasn’t how I pictured entering parenthood but the new arrival gave us a new focus.
Throughout this experience, he’s been a source of pure joy.
I speak for both Obi and I when I say that he has made the events that have unfolded bearable.
The team was thrilled to hear the news.
As we spent some time getting to know our son and adjusting to our new roles, they kept Obi updated on how things were going with the manuscript and the last stages of post-production.
There was a lot to manage.
The survival of our business was in the balance.
Within five days of the birth, we were both working.
Obi was back at the studio with the team.
I was doing admin and finalising the copy for the next stages of the manuscript.
Fortunately, thanks to the advocacy and support of Obi, our doula and family, I had a quick recovery from the birth but it didn’t feel good to have grandparents see us both (but especially me) back to work this soon.
The physical toll made itself known in the first few months when I couldn’t carry on breastfeeding. Unfortunately, like with the baby turning breech, I was back to sitting at a desk for long hours, working around the clock to keep our family business going.
Maintaining a breastfeeding routine while balancing work wasn’t possible. We got lactation advice from the midwife and consultants at the children’s clinic.
We introduced formula when I wasn’t able to produce as much. I took supplements, hired a breast pump, then bought a wearable cordless one in an attempt to keep it up.
It was heartbreaking.
It was violent.
We needed to focus on finalising the assets to present to Adyen N.V.
Two months after the birth, we were back in the Rokin office.
By publishing this blog, The Study Group evokes the Dutch Whistleblower Protection Act (Wet bescherming klokkenluiders) of 18 February 2023.
The full act from the Ministry of Interior and Kingdom Relations is available in Dutch and English.
Want to help amplify our story to other media? The Act protects all stakeholders who share it (clause 1a. Duty of confidentiality and data protection).
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