If you don’t think happy thoughts when things suck, then life is just pretty much always going to suck.
The fastest, easiest, best shortcut to climbing a mountain, still usually involves climbing a mountain.
To the extent I’m disappointed in America voting for Trump, I’m proud of them for not voting for Clinton.
If you’re going to boycott companies associated with Trump, boycott the RNC and DNC. Don’t keep paying the people who got us here.
Would someone please invent a website that exports my Twitter, Reddit, Facebook and Medium feeds into one scrolling wall?
Blind faith is more likely to lead you over a cliff than to the promised land.
Trump isn’t the problem. He’s a symptom of capitalism. Even if liberal Democrats could “beat” him, capitalism will send us more like him.
Instead of using school time to teach kids how to celebrate nonsensical holidays, let’s teach them how to solve problems during that time.
Learning how to overcome fear is more important than learning the quadratic equation. Yet schools are more likely to teach the latter.
Obama acting nonchalant about the first black president handing over power to a mentally unstable bigot, demonstrates his mastery of lying.
Hillary Clinton telling all Americans to just go with Donald Trump’s flow proves she couldn’t care less about the American people.
Trumps promises in his acceptance speech would have been more reassuring if he didn’t speak like a confused, semi-literate child.
The smile on Hillary Clinton’s face during her concession speech demonstrates her mastery of the art of lying in public with a straight face.
Trump’s plan to make America great again may as well have been to start a civil war, because it looks like that’s what he’ll do.
If you don’t like America, then leave. Oh, wait. You can’t, because America’s oppressive economy keeps you living paycheck to paycheck.
Right now I’m more proud to have a permanent residency visa to New Zealand than I am to be an American citizen.
I told friends jokingly I would prefer a Trump presidency over Clinton because he’ll bring a quicker apocalypse. The joke isn’t as funny now America elected a joke for president. Now the joke is on the American people.
Nobody who is laughing today will be laughing 4 years from now.
I’ve been saying for a year Hillary would win because of corruption. Turns out the system is less corrupt and more stupid than I thought.
I suspected Donald Trump was nominated to scare people into voting for Hillary Clinton, but what if it was the other way around?
@TheSafestSpace: Cultural appropriation destroys cultures by sharing their best ideas with other cultures…
Americans, don’t forget to exercise your right to vote on rigged elections today… if you’re into that sort of thing.
I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that life is just a reality TV show that God and angels have been binge-watching on celestial televisions.
You can tell an economy is broken if it costs a month’s wages to fulfill annual responsibilities like car repair and dental work.
It wouldn’t be so important to “get your shit together” as young as possible, if the system wasn’t designed to set you up for failure.
The sentence, “I like my ice crushed, but he likes his cubed,” isn’t interesting at all… unless an identical twin says it.
Christianity would benefit from churches paying taxes, because it would reduce con artists’ incentive to open churches and preach bullshit.
Life is more about what you are than what you have.
You go on vacation to find relief, only to find more of the same extortionate price gouging that was stressing you out in your home town.
Corporations won’t let politicians give us election day off. Why should they lose a day of our labor to vote on what they already decided?
Election day should be a national holiday almost as much as elections shouldn’t be rigged.
I wish Fitbit could make a device that, instead of measuring your heart rate, measures what a entitled, whiney, unrelenting asshole you are.
The more non-violent protesters cops arrest, the more they make violence inevitable by proving non-violence is not an option.
Soldiers giveth freedom, and police taketh away.
Every social justice warrior’s posts on social media are made on devices invented by men, assembled by slaves, bought from capitalists.
American style freedom: In New Orleans, you can walk down the street drinking a beer, but can’t buy it without an ID, even if you’re elderly.
I bet God dies inside a little every time humans pave over more nature to build more strip malls and suburbs.
Americans dress like other cultures on Halloween because consumerism is America’s culture.
There’s a fine line between courage and stupidity.
Bourbon Street in New Orleans looks like a dream at night. It looks like a broken dream in the day light.
Anytime you send food back at a restaurant, assume whatever you get back has spit in it, even if your complaint was valid.
Doing things that improve your life = worldly success. Succeeding at the expense of other people’s quality of life = existential failure.
Those who entertain the most ideas without evidence see farthest. Those who believe the most ideas without evidence, see shortest.
Expect a man to do recurring yard work and nobody bats an eye. Expect a woman to do recurring housework and everybody loses their mind.
When you speak angrily to your lover, you may get what you want, but they’ll walk away feeling like your enemy or victim.
The dullest pencil has a better memory than the sharpest mind.
If any religion has instructions on killing, it’d be foolish to say, “As long as nobody gets hurt, who cares what religion people believe?”
The popularity of click-and-wait smart phone games proves if humans don’t have stress in our life, we’ll create it.
It really illustrates who the government works for when cops arrest people protesting big businesses siezing and building on their land.
Dangerous adults aren’t created when society fails to censor kids from bad ethics, but when society fails to teach kids functional ethics.
Demanding that the 1% pay reparations to the poor would be more accurate than demanding white men pay reparations to everyone.
I don’t want a white history month, but if we’re going to have a double standard, let’s admit it officially with a white bashing month.
Lucky for me, living in the ghetto shelters me from meeting anyone pretentious enough to tell a complete stranger to check their priviledge.