I felt the same when I was in college, transitioning from a kid to a bigger kid. Now, I am firm in my belief that the Judeo-Christian concept of God is the one can relate to the most, and I do so through gratitude and prayer and meditation. I also am a great admirer of Lama Buddhism as a philosophy and as a religion. I spend a lot of time in discussions about how, at the heart of both Roman Catholicism and Lama Buddhism, we are all merely looking for compassion. In ourselves and those around us. However way we may increase the compassion we have for ourselves and for one another, I wholeheartedly support. Because really, you don’t need a book or a shaved head to inspire compassion in people who haven’t given up.
I also accept my human limitations and concede that I cannot fathom true Divinity in the absolute omnipotent sense. I admit my limited understanding yet reassured mindset, my anthropomorphic cognitive bias, my smugness to assume I can somehow communicate with Divinity even though I cannot really grasp it, or understand it — all these things are difficult to make sense of at best, and contradictory hypocrisy at the worst.
The Divinity that I’m unable to fully fathom fascinates me, and I seek to understand what is understandable. But this fascination is only possible because I have faith that Divinity has anything to do with me. Just like I have faith that my bed isn’t going to break as it sit on it writing this comment, I have faith that the people who prepared my food didn’t poison it, I have faith that I will keep breathing today.
Faith is the comfort we feel which overpowers the cognitive dissonance of not knowing exactly what True Divinity is, or how it relates to you or me or anybody. Surety and certainty as to the origins of the universe, the presence of Divinity in Humanity, all these things are based on the faith that we even have brains in our heads that work, without having seen and touched them ourselves while we still live and breathe.
We lose faith and its soothing comforts when we wish to be sure and certain and unmistakeable. Assuming we cannot be mistaken is usually when we make the biggest mistakes of all. Certainty of one thing makes for the impossibility of all else — and for Divinity, if I am not mistaken, impossible is nothing.
I hope you are a compassionate person. In fact, I have faith that you are.