What does it mean to be successful?

The word “success” has innumerable definitions. In one sense, it means building something or fulfilling a defined range of expectations. Success could mean building a structure like a hospital or an empire. It could mean building relationships or families. But no matter what the criteria of success are attached to, it is impossible to ignore one aspect of it: whatever we build, it will not last forever. Money will eventually be spent. A building will someday be replaced. And, inevitable of all, our lives will eventually be extinguished. In other words, if success is measured by what we build, then since that is temporary, success must also be temporary.

So, what interpretation of success, if any, is worth our pursuit? Sure, we can build. We can build without delusions of immortality too. But because of life circumstances, we all may not be able to build the same size castles in the sky.

So, what can we all do to come to a common interpretation of what the word success means? We can seek to minimize unjust and unnecessary suffering for everybody.

We can minimize our suffering in a number of ways. Self-compassion is one of them. We know that we are flawed beings, prone to mistakes but capable of learning from them. We are works in progress, and never incapable of change. We can perceive that harm done to us need not leave permanent scars. So many of us live lives marred by our pasts, with baggage that weighs us down by limiting our life choices and stunting our personality growth.

We can minimize the suffering of others in all kinds of ways too. It starts by seeking out communities on the margins of society, who have been left behind. We can share what we have but also work as private and public citizens to amend the institutions ostensibly put in place to safeguard social well-being. When we do this, we make it easier for us to strive towards a destiny chosen by us rather than one that has been chosen for us.

For would-be Buddhist monks, an essential part of their training is “maranasati.” Maranasati translates into the mindfulness of death. The idea is that when we contemplate and focus on dying, it can bring about a life-affirming urgency in us while reducing the impulse to accumulate material things.

In other words, death need not be a demoralizing or taboo subject, but a motivating reminder of how scarce time is and how we should use this resource wisely. Success to me means learning how to die by learning how to live straddling the past, present, and future all at the same time. It means learning to accept the social and personal inheritance each of us has been given from the past, and how to leverage it to minimize suffering for us in the present, while also believing that any small contribution we make will be influential even in the incomprehensibleness of an unknown future.