And I will atone

Yesterday, I declared on this blog, “Fucking Planning Commission.”

Admittedly, an act of madness.

Well, I’ll tell you what happened: I just ran out of bullshit.

I don’t know how else to say it except that I just ran out of bullshit.

I spent the greater part of Tuesday evening watching a particular zoning discussion among Austin’s Planning Commission and then trying to figure out how to write about the entire appalling affair. …


Fucking Planning Commission

Fucking Planning Commission

Fucking Planning Commission.


West Austin gonna West Austin

Alison Alter is doing politics on a Saturday.

Oh look, it’s a white supremacist surrender rag.


A vignette of egregious obstructionism

Proposed Hemphill Apartments, from Board of Adjustments agenda packet

Rather than rats ready to devour our faces, the senior staff here at The Austin Metropolitan is of one mind that, were we living in the world of George Orwell’s 1984, the personalized torture device waiting for us in Room 101 would be a discussion of minimum lot sizes, neighborhood character, and the propriety of sub-incremental increases in urban density at a meeting of the City of Austin’s Board of Adjustments.

Thus it was with redemptive suffering last week that we learned to love Big Brother thanks to one property owner’s seemingly simple quest to provide a modest net gain…


The Met’s Unified Take on Election 2018

Tuesday’s good boy

For neighborhood preservationists in Austin, Tuesday night brought something reminiscent of a shellacking.

From the mayor’s race down to the bottom-of-the-ballot referendums, the old guard of Austin’s once-dominant political cartel, save for one major exception, went down in ignominious flames.

Most conflagatory was former Council Member Laura Morrison’s bid to replace Mayor Steve Adler. …


TL;DR: Chill. She’s against increasing the homestead exemption.

It’s gonna be a dark and stormy night, fitting weather for a Halloween haunted by the horrors of late campaign season advertising.

As the last week of campaigning slowly decomposes into the final eve of reckoning, the candidates and political action committees are swirling like mad wraiths across the city, choking our mailboxes with bone-chilling flyers and transforming the Austin Chronicle into a Necronomicon of skin-crawling ads.

Some of the morbid messaging lurches towards outright fear-mongering, while at least one candidate is trying to exorcise the gremlins unleashed by a supporting PAC’s uncoordinated attempt to be the Hyde to her…


I mean, what the fuck

Screencap of IndyAustin’s video provided awfully courteously by the Steve Adler Campaign

A Bastrop-based petition mercenary on Monday lost the financial backing of an international race track mogul after she used a well-known alt-right symbol in a video attacking Austin’s Jewish mayor just days after an antisemitic lunatic murdered eleven people at a Pittsburgh synagogue.

Which is really something!

The surprise cameo by Pepe the Frog in IndyAustin’s video railing against Adler over Council-approved negotiations with Precourt Sports Ventures to build a major league flopball stadium in North Austin was an innocent mistake, according to the political action committee run by activist Linda Curtis. …


So let’s take a dry look at an old treatment plant controversy

This is water, the sustainer of life

Nine years to the day before Austinites were told they had to boil their water under penalty of tremendous diarrhea, City Council took a decisive vote that loosened from the bowels of controversy the beginning of the end of one chapter in the city’s eternal debate over growth, conservation, and responsible fiscal stewardship.

The 4–3 nailbiter that gave the go-ahead to preliminary construction of the water treatment plant formerly known as WTP-4 was a decades-in-the-making flashpoint that sparked a fury among Austin’s self-professed environmentalists associated with or adjacent to the Save Our Springs Alliance. …


NIMBY chief mobilizes stiff defense, births a historic postscript

“Locked in mutual ferocity and final commitment the contenders could not disengage, although their struggle was splitting the country and fostering opportunity for the enemy at their frontiers, which every day the enemy measured.” — Barbara Tuchman, The Proud Tower

Much as the Dreyfus Affair cracked late-19th century France into two irreconcilable factions of traditionalist authoritarians desperately holding fast to the mists of time on one side and, on the other, a coalition of liberals, socialists, republicans, and anyone else who recognized the imperative of justice over a social order rooted in a benighted past, so too has Austin’s struggles…


In which I do my best to ensure no one will ever hire me in this city again

Writing as a process, as any half-literate American can tell you, is exactly like the Human Torch’s infamous nova flame: It’s a reckless, irresponsible spectacle that puts everyone around you in harm’s way and whose each exercise leaves you a half-dead husk of sweat and exhaustion. To willingly engage in this kind of self-harm on more than a semi-regular basis while at the same time tending to other perfunctory business demands takes a decent amount of personal iron as well as a deep and accessible pool of inspiration/beer.

Alternatively, you could just go full hack. Like say, for example, Ken…

The Austin Metropolitan

Beta af

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