Le Blue

Joe Barbour
Sep 8, 2018 · 4 min read

Johnny was overwhelmed as he stood in the middle of this chaotic Bazaar. All he could see was people but he noticed that he had become surrounded. Was this paranoia? Or was this the fact his hair was blue. He quickly realized it was the latter when he heard several school girls behind him should ‘Le Blue’ over and over again. The worlds got louder and sharper to his eardrums which caused Johnny to sweat a little, all the way down to his giant balls. Johnny now slightly turned from the cold sweat trip hanging off his pomegranate like testicles, as well as the feeling of been overwhelmed Johnny started getting more aggressive, pushing old people to the floor to flee the mocking cries of those tiny Moroccan bitches. But his efforts failed as he was stopped in his tracks by an 8-foot man with a great big bushy beard, eyes the red of night (likely from the outbreak of pink eye that had plagued the region for months). The man also had a large Iguanas perched on his left shoulder. Johnny could see a friend in the iguana and instantly became more relaxed. The man said ‘yarrr, ya can *stroke* him if you like’. Johnny didn’t question the man that sounded like a pirate at all and instantly tried to reach the Iguana but failed as the pink-eyed pirate was far too tall. The large pirate stopped Johnny as he had now tried to climb the large pirate to reach destiny – which was the name he had given to the handsome Iguana. ‘I meant my cock, you strange little man. But I can see you might not be into my magnum dong, so let me show you something you might like instead’. The large man turned around and began to push through the crowd. Johnny could see him disappear and was going to let him until something in his loins possessed him to follow the man.

After following the man and Destiny for some time down back alleys and though markets the arrived at a black door. The pirate banged a code on the door and waited. They waited for about 8–9 seconds when the pirate grew inpatient and punched a hole through the door and opened it from the inside. ‘This isn’t how you break in’ Johnny thought as he remembered fondly on his time as a car thief. The man opened the door and said ‘go on my little blue friend’. He pushed Johnny though into the almost completely pitch black hallway. Johnny looked back and both the man and Destiny winked at him and pointed into the abyss. Johnny turned to face the darkness and quickly turned around to see that they had both gone. Now slightly concerned Johnny slowly made his way down the hallway and came to an opening with a faded red glow. Upon taking a few more steps Johnny was presented with not one but 2 girls. Both of the same height, both same weight (he assumed). In fact, both were almost identical apart from the fact one had blonde hair, the other brunette. Johnny instantly knew who was going to be the more ‘problematic’ of the two. The two girls looked at Johnny and giggled, the looked at each other and removed their oversized Christmas sweaters on leaving only a kilt left and of course their big bouncy boobs. The girls began to ‘neck on’ with each other for a brief time before pausing to whisper something. These girls looked English but what came out of their mouths was complete nonsense ‘Were they witches’ Johnny thought? He asked them to repeat it gently, but they had already grown impatient and just began to make out again. One of the girls looked up, and in a louder, more annoyed manner she squarked ‘well ye wee blue fucker, are you gunna cum and fook us or noot?’. Now the kilts made sense, these girls were Scottish! Johnny slowly approached while pulling out his limp biscuit, and removing Limp Biscuit T-shirt. Only his penis was now no longer limp at all, instead, it was as hard as a glacier mint. Johnny joined the girls and joined them in their session and started playing with their nipple-tips which were like unlike all the other ‘rivet’ like nipples he had touched before. The girls simultaneously began to move their hands towards Johnny’s throbbing Johnson and began stroking it. As the blonde grabbed it with 2 hands. The brunette began to remove her Kilt revealing a bush shaved into the British Isles. She led down on a what Johnny believed to be the Ikea sofa from 2013 Ypperlig Collection. Johnny watched her slowly spread her legs and as she did the other girl grabbed his cock and pulled him towards her, like she was dragging a reluctant child to school. Johnny crouched down and pushed his glacier mint into her vulvar as she moaned something inaudible. He could feel her moisture in the air, it was now like a sauna in the darkened room. The blonde girl had now joined them on the wonderfully comfy sofa and began to play with her uterus as Johnny began to pound the brunette’s clitoris faster and faster. They all began moaning louder and as both the girls seemed to be nearing completion Johnny began to feel his fishing tackle begin to swell. Just as the girls let one last moan of complete euphoria Johnny pulled out lil’ Johnny and covered the tartan kilt in cum. And this was the reason the Scottish wanted to leave the EU…

Why the fuck I wrote this…

The story is based on a real sex story told to me when one night by a fellow traveller but, he was so drunk he forgot to get to the sex part, instead talked mainly about a large man with an iguana on his shoulder. After hearing the story I felt the story was missing something… mainly sex.

This is the adapted story with a few miss truths. But I hope this terribly written, incredibly strange and somewhat troubling insight into how my mind works.

Joe Barbour

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