The (Other) Keir Hardie Tea-Towel

The Labour Party is attempting to raise money by selling tea towels bearing the image of the great Scottish socialist pioneer Keir Hardie, signed by current leader Jeremy Corbyn, for £100.

Tom Morton’s school gym teacher in the late 1960s and early 70s was also called Keir Hardie. He was the great man’s grandson…

Keir Hardie
 was dapper
 His nickname was ‘Papa’
 He took PE and games
 His illustrious name
 Was his grandad’s
 It cut no ice with the lads
 Of Marr College
 Our political knowledge
 Was zero
 An old Labour hero
 Meant nothing in Troon
 We preferred Gordon Broon
 (Not the politician
 The rugby tactician
 Always full of good cheer
 And possibly some beer
 But that was back in the day
 When Scotland could play)
 Today, I saw something foul
 A Keir Hardie tea towel
 Highly absorbent
 Signed by Jeremy Corbyn
 £100, it’s on offer
 To replenish Labour’s coffers
 And briefly I wondered
 If someone had blundered
 And my old schoolmaster
 In a PR disaster
 Was now drying plates
 With a screen print of his face
 Which would have been quite a story
 Because I suspect 
 Papa was a Tory…

Originally published at on April 13, 2017.

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