Weekly Journal Update 13

Thursday, April 9th, 11:30 AM to 12:30 PM.

I could not come to class because I was cramming for a test in Psychology of Race and Racism. I had six assignments due or tests to take on this Thursday and had been steadily getting them done at a good pace until I spent too much time studying for the first test I had that day during an all nighter and was forced to skip some classes to make sure I had a good amount of time to go over the material for the second test.

I received notes from class from both Ama and Monique, but they were not very in depth, so I made of them what I could.

According to their notes, you all discussed the role of phthonos in leadership, pointing out book five, chapter five, section five through thirty-six.

What is the difference between envy and jealousy which is innate or natural born?

The beef between Cyrus and Cyaxares was discussed more in depth. It seems that examples of a modern day version of the relationship between Cyrus and Cyaxares. One of them had Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders written down, but I feel like it’d be more like Trump and Ted Cruz if I’m understanding the conversation correctly. I feel like Cruz or Rubio believed they had the presidency in the bag and never dreamed Trump would overtake them. When he did, I believe they were angry and their bubbles were definitely burst. In the Cyrus and Cyaxares relationship, they both started out from the same place. Cyrus was just naturally better than Cyaxares. Cyrus was able to win over Cyaxares again by speaking with him.

Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush seem to feel entitled when it comes to pursuing the presidential nomination due to their previous connections to the White House through Hillary’s husband, Bill Clinton, and through Jeb’s brother and father, the other Bushes.

You all also discussed Croesus, who was the king of Lydia and lost to Cyrus after gaining control of the enemy army. He claimed to know that he would not be able to defeat Cyrus but took the position anyway. This was discussed in book seven, chapter two, section fifteen. Gnothi seauton is Greek for know thyself. “Those who are doubted can not love their doubters.” “Know thyself and happiness shall be thine.” Croesus was legendary in the ancient world for his wealth and his multiple encounters with the Delphic Oracle.

Do you know yourself better than you know others? I’d probably have to say no. I feel like I know my mamaw, papaw, and boyfriend better than I know myself. Self-aware people crave constructive criticism.

What can befall a leader if he doesn’t know himself? He could be swayed by any and everybody which could lead to being a failed leader. The word try is connected to trials which are meant to test your abilities and could very well lead to mistakes that can be learned from.

Saturday, April 16th, 4:00 PM to 9:50 PM.

On this day, I decided to write this journal as well as to begin studying for our final.

Dean of the School of Arts and Sciences at CAU

I looked over the job listing for the Dean of the School of Arts and Sciences at Clark Atlanta University in Atlanta, Georgia. I definitely think Cyrus would be a great fit for this position. As dean, he would have to supervise department and program chairs which probably wouldn’t be much different than his supervision of his generals in his army. It’d also be his job to develop and manage the school budget which he could handle as he handled his own finances by appointing trusted people to oversee that everything was accounted for and being used as effectively as possible. He’d also be responsible for strategic planning which we know he is very much capable of as a successful ruler of an empire. He had to evaluate the performance of those who were below him in rank, so I believe he could handle evaluating faculty and staff at the school. He could also handle selecting who received a promotion because he was very careful of choosing who was ahead of which positions in his army. They stressed the ability to fund raise. I believe he’d be great at this because he always found a way to make ties with those who had the power and money to get him whatever amount of money he needed. His networking skills would come in handy as dean and allow him to raise funds in a similar way. The dean has to be committed to student learning which I also believe Cyrus would be; he was very committed to the well-being of his soldiers, so I feel as if it would be the same for his students. He would also be expected to promote diversity which wouldn’t be a problem for him. He was the head of an extremely diverse group of nations and treated them well. He could also be a great problem solver due to the necessity of him thinking on his feet during the war when a problem arose. I feel like project management skills would be similar to the skills he obtained as the head of a growing army. He was tasked with orchestrating the movements of his army in and out of battle. Cyrus definitely had technical skills that allowed him to assess his own strengths and weaknesses and seek training and development. This was seen when he chose to challenge himself to become the best horseman in Media. What they called customer service skills could be translated to Cyrus always being their when his allies needed him like when the enemy army chose to attack Gadatas’ home while he was away and Cyrus and his army rushed to stop them. He also spoke clearly and persuasively. He was definitely all about the success of his team. Their explanation of a visionary leader describes Cyrus perfectly. He was very passionate about what he was doing, and I believe this would have carried over to his position as dean. He was very much respected and an inspiration to all those under and around him. He showed his skills in quality management while trying to make his army the best army they could be. He gives sound judgment and is willing to make decisions. Cyrus set and achieved challenging goals for his army and was persistent in overcoming obstacles. He was very good at planning and organizing what the army needed to accomplish and how they needed to go about this. He acted very professionally by treating all his men as equals no matter their rank within his army. He definitely reacted well under the pressure of leading this army into war. Cyrus strove to meet and exceed productivity standards. He was able to adapt to the ever changing scenery of war and would be able to bring that adaptability to the school. Cyrus had initiative when he pushed Cyaxares to allow him to go after the enemy army. This was his way of seeking increased responsibility and taking independent action.

Alcibiades might be a good fit for the position, but I don’t believe he’d work as well as Cyrus.

I believe I could qualify for this role in ten to twenty years. I feel like it would take a lot of work to be prepared to handle a position like this and I would have to work hard continuously through the next up to twenty years just to be a plausible candidate for the position.

Most Important Things I’ve Learned About Leadership

  1. It’s important to realize how much our society leans toward picking leaders with psychopathic traits. I didn’t realize how frightening and dangerous this could be until I read the list of five things we should consider if our society became more psychopathic that discussed things like gender equality, the types of leaders higher education would be producing, artificial intelligence as leaders, democracy, and our military.
  2. Obtaining a mentor who is already a successful leader to teach you their ways is a great start on your way to becoming a successful leader.
  3. Go into a leadership position with an idea of what you want to accomplish and make sure to stand up for what you believe in.
  4. Spending time in solitude and being alone with your thoughts is crucial to being a leader.
  5. Studying emotional intelligence is a sure way to become a better leader.
  6. Even if you do not necessarily want that leadership position like Socrates, you still need to consider the power you hold and act accordingly.
  7. Considering the well-being of your followers crucial in being a great leader. If your followers are not happy and taken care of then you will not last long as their leader.
  8. Obtaining loyal followers by being someone they genuinely like and trust will get you farther in life than forcing people to follow you, instilling fear and hatred within them. If they trust and like you, you can always count on their support.
  9. Be aware of life’s five great stories and take time to make a plan on how to balance them. Having this plan in mind will make your life easier.
  10. Realize that authority, prestige, responsibility, and accountability will affect your leadership abilities, so be cautious.

I had a really difficult time trying to rank these. I don’t feel like any of these should be placed above another after studying leadership throughout this course. To be the best leader one could possibly be, all of these things need to be considered fully and equally. If The first one should serve as a warning to society though. That should definitely be noted. I believe the four things that follow the first are equally important. This is what sets somebody up to be prepared for leadership which is why I feel they are important. The rest deal with actually being a leader.

Most Important Things I’ve Learned About Myself

  1. I really love people. Like I want to see all people’s lives improve. I want everybody to want to be better and I want to help them become that, whatever that may look like for them.
  2. After hashing out my five great stories at the beginning of the semester and coming back to them now, I realize that I have laid out a beautiful future for myself but have given no consideration to the intricate details I need to master to get there. I can’t become the leader I dream of being without first paving the path I need to take to reach that level. I’ve just been going with the flow thus far, and it’s about time I get serious about my future.
  3. I’m afraid that I have gotten through the last two years at Howard without taking in the majority of the information that is necessary to know to be considered competent in both areas of my two majors. I feel like I’m under-prepared to be considered for internships and future jobs in my fields, and it’s nobody’s fault but my own. I want to be the best I can be, and I feel like I’m failing as a student in comparison to some of the people around me.
  4. I never take the time to think about myself and my life. I tend to avoid introspection at all costs. I have realized how detrimental this is to my future as a leader. Without it, I will not know what exactly my strengths and weaknesses are among other things.
  5. I’ve been favored by many of my teachers. I’ve been offered a position in my professor’s psychology research lab on campus and another professor has given me his word that he’d push for me if I applied for the study abroad scholarship board he is on, but I have not taken the steps necessary to claim what they’re offering. They’re trying to help place me above the curve, and I’ve been doing everything to push against this. I’ve been really lazy, and I need to get past that.
  6. I don’t believe I’d ever be able to do the dirty deeds we expect leaders to do. Knowing I deliberately hurt an individual or group of people, no matter if it was for the greater good, would never sit right with me. I’d be guilt ridden.
  7. I learned that if I ever want to be an effective leader I need to overcome my fear of public speaking and find a way to become a master of the articulation of my thoughts, feelings, goals, and desires. I already knew I was an inadequate public speaker, but I have realized that if I want to make a positive impact in this world, I need to be able to articulate what’s important to me and why.
  8. I feel like I’d have an issue with reconciling what I’d like to get done while in whatever office I’ve been placed in with the wants and needs of the people that I’m in charge of. If there was a situation where I believed I was doing what was best for the people, I would do it no matter how much opposition from certain people I received. If I was in a position of power, I’d want to use it to actually make drastic changes, so I’d expect to piss off many people while I was in office.
  9. I am too emotional to be an effective leader. For example, I have grown really attached to the men I am tutoring at the jail and I will be seeing them for the last time on Wednesday and knowing that has broken my heart. I make it a goal to try to get to know those under me, and I have come to find out that interferes with productivity because it tends to lead to more personal interactions instead of actions about business.
  10. It would help me a great deal if I obtained a mentor who was a master in either Afro-American Studies, Psychology, or running a non-profit organization.

I believe my philanthropia is a wonderful quality to have, and I believe it is a huge contributor to why I am who I am. It scares me that I really don’t have a solid plan following graduation in two years. I really need to get my life together. I need to address the fact that I don’t believe I’ve learned much. I need to break this cycle soon, and I’d like to start this summer. After taking this class, I realize how important introspection really is which is why is placed so high on the list. I need to get my life together and take every opportunity to prepare myself for the future like actively pursuing the position in the psychology lab. I fee like the fact that I don’t believe I can do the dirty deeds expected of a leader isn’t necessarily a bad thing but when considering leadership, it is. Public speaking might deserve a higher spot on the list, but it is very important despite it placing seventh. I see the value in the skill which is why it made the list. I see how eight could be negative, but I see it as a positive thing because I wouldn’t do anything that was evil or destructive. Me being emotional is just a part of who I am, but it could cause issues if I was to become a leader. Getting a mentor had never crossed my mind until today, but I know plenty of people with them and I feel like they’re more prepared than I am.

Four Major Turning Points in Class

  1. Writing my Five Great Stories made me realize that I want to make my future non-profit organization nation wide. Previously, I had only considered opening up a few at most in whatever town I settle down in, but I now realize that expanding beyond that is what I really need to be focused on. I feel like the non-profit I described will be needed throughout the nation, so it would be a disservice to minority youth not to attempt to make that happen.
  2. I realized that I can do more in life than just opening up my non-profit. When I first had this thought, I was struggling with my desire to assist men and women who have just been released from jail or prison. As I have been volunteering at Jennifer Road Detention Center and connecting with my students, I have realized just how passionate I am about making sure they never end up back in a cell. Our society is more focused on punishment rather than rehabilitation, and to me, this is a huge problem that I’d love to begin to tackle. At first this was only something to add to my resume that I found to be interesting, but now it’s much more than that. I would really love to create a program that would allow me to help these men and women find a place to stay if they don’t have one, set up a job for them, help them begin to pursue their education if they so desire, and to help them financially in the beginning until they can get on their feet.
  3. I didn’t know what to expect when I traveled to Haiti, but I definitely did not expect to fall in love with the people and the culture. As each day passed it became clearer and clearer in my mind that somebody needed to make it a point to lift up the Haitian people on a large scale. I decided that I’d love to be that person. I’m not quite sure how I’ll tackle such a huge task just yet, but in my lifetime, I plan to impact Haitians in a way that they’ve never been impacted before.
  4. Going back to my issue with public speaking, I recently discovered that there are actually public speaking classes that train people like me to become better in front of crowds. This is something that I am in desperate need of. I was skeptical at first because I thought it’d just be like speech class, but i was told that this would be much more effective in helping me rise above my fear of public speaking. This would make me become a much more confident future leader.

Future Leadership Study and Preparation

As an Afro-American Studies major, I will continue to study leaders within the black community beginning all the way in Africa with African kings and queens all the way until today with the men and women who are ahead of the Black Lives Matter Movement. Now that I have taken this course, I will continue to look into ancient leaders. I believe it will also be helpful for me to look into political leaders. I guess the only works of leadership I can think of would be autobiographies of the people that fit into the categories I just listed or books that are plainly about leadership. I don’t know any specific books. I plan to continue as a volunteer at Jennifer Road while I am in DC. I would love to volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club again and be ahead of an art class or something of that sort. In the future, I would like to run my non-profit organization, my jail and prison program, and my assistance program for Haiti. To be a productive leader, I feel like I need to become a better orator. I need to learn how to accept that I will have to do the nasty, mean things we expect good leaders to do. This will involve me becoming more psychopathic by leaning toward being more manipulative or emotionally shallow. I need to learn how to be more chameleon-like like Alcibiades. I need to find out how to be calmer under pressure. I need to discover myself more like Marcus. I need to become more emotionally intelligent.

Sunday, April 17th, 12:00 PM to 4:15 PM.

I studied for my exam for a bit.

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