Key Takeaways:
- Focus on Present Efforts, Not Future Outcomes: Stoic philosophy emphasizes the importance of focusing on our individual efforts and actions in the present rather than pinning our hopes on unknowable future outcomes.
- Recognize the Limits of Control: We often mistake our ability to influence individual aspects of our lives (like our efforts) with having control over the overall outcome. By acknowledging that many factors are beyond our control, we can find peace and contentment.
- Reframe Judgments About Happiness: Stoics believe that while we have limited control over external events, we have absolute power over our attitudes and judgments. By shifting our focus to what we can control — our actions, attitudes, and judgments — we can achieve true freedom and happiness, regardless of external circumstances.
Effort vs Outcome
What do you think is in your control?
Your hobbies? Your friends? Your career? Your personality?
You’d think so. But ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus (50–135 CE) argues that we have far less control over things than we might think.
“Some things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and in, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing” — Epictetus (50–135 CE)
Surely not? What about your body or your career? Surely you have control over them?
The answer is yes, and no.
See the majority of people mistake control over their individual contributions, with control over the overall outcome.
In other words, the two are not equal. X effort will not guarantee Y outcome.
You have control over the effort you contribute to something but not over the outcome that it yields.
Take your body for example. You can choose to train hard, eat right, and rest well. But you have no control over your genetics, injuries, accidents, diseases, nor the march of time.
So why pin our hopes on an unknowable future? Doesn’t that just end in disappointment — expecting the world to play out exactly as it does in our imaginations?
Falsely believing we’re able to exert absolute control over how our bodies end up — or what people think of them — will only end in frustration, insecurity, and anxiety.
The Boundaries of Control
We cannot control the future.
What we can control, is our efforts, attitudes, and judgments in the present.
When we focus on just these we’ll find the mindset shift to be rather liberating. As Epictetus summarizes:
“Working within our sphere of control, we are naturally free, independent, and strong. Beyond that sphere, we are weak, limited, and dependent. If you pin your hopes on things outside your control, taking upon yourself things which rightfully belong to others, you are liable to stumble, fall, suffer, and blame both gods and men. But if you focus your attention only on what is truly your own concern, and leave to others what concerns them, then you will be in charge of your interior life. No one will be able to harm or hinder you. You will blame no one, and have no enemies. If you wish to have peace and contentment, release your attachment to all things outside your control. This is the path of freedom and happiness.”— Epictetus (50–135 CE)
The Key to Happiness
The Stoics say that our power over things is radically lower than we might expect.
But we have absolute power in the one place that matters: reframing our judgments about happiness.
Instead of tying ourselves to outcomes that we have no control over, we should instead look to find happiness in the journey rather than fixating on the end result.
“The man who likes walking is going to walk further than the man who likes the destination.” — Sam Sulek
Attaching yourself to the uncertain future will only cause disappointment. But by focusing on the present moment and channeling our efforts into what we can control, we liberate ourselves from the shackles of expectation.
Embracing this mindset shift allows us to discover that true happiness arises from within, independent of external circumstances.
To sum up
The control paradox boils down to this: even if we strive to act as best as we can, we can never completely control the outcome. We therefore shouldn’t attach our happiness to achieving certain outcomes, but instead to our individual efforts along the way.
If you’re ready to start living a happier life, start with these steps today:
- Focus on Actions and Efforts: Recognize that many aspects of life are beyond your control. Set goals around what you can control, and practice acceptance for the rest.
- Practice Acceptance: Understand that basing your happiness on external events leads to frustration. Cultivate mindfulness to maintain a balanced attitude.
- Reflect on Efforts and Mindset: Regularly evaluate your actions and attitudes. Reflect daily on your efforts and mindset rather than outcomes to sustain peace and contentment.
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Thanks for reading!
Kai :)
