Facebook Stalking
Yesterday, while having a catching-up-on-each-other’s-lives convo, someone seemed to know more about my goings-on(s)? than I realized I had made public. But that was just my hazy memory failing me yet again. Nonetheless, the person quickly added, “I promise I’m not Facebook stalking you!” lol This is not the first time someone has said such a thing to me. In fact, I have heard this said a number of times to other people, too. What gets me though is why.
Why is keeping up with someone’s posts perceived as stalking?
First, let’s break down the term “social media”.
Facebook — like ALL forms of media — is meant for others to view. Media is seldom meant for the publisher’s eyes only. If it is, then call it a diary or a personal journal, but by-golly do not decide to BLAST it on the World Wide Web. Also, social activities are meant to engage others, whether at a surface level or toward a deeper, more relational interaction.
So… if you don’t want others to engage with you OR you don’t want people “all up in yours” maybe pick up a journal next time you’re out and about, or better yet schedule in-person, face time with loved ones.
Listen, I’m flattered that anyone would care enough to read or view anything I post on social media, let alone recall it sometime thereafter during those rare but refreshing LIVE INTERACTIONS in 2017 with living, breathing human beings. I like my ego stroked… shoot, but who doesn’t?! If we are totally honest with ourselves, we post on social media because we hope our content is received positively (i.e., Like, Share, and GO VIRAL! Wooo!)
So let’s try not to “feel some typa way” about someone Facebook stalking us. Everything in life starts in the mind. How you perceive things heavily determines how the story goes. So maybe it’s not that they’re weird; it’s that you’re AWESOME! Maybe it’s not that they’re trying to find out everything there is to know about you; maybe your posts are interesting, exciting, inspiring, funny. In other words, SEE THE GLASS AS HALF FULL, SHAWTIES! (yes, I am shouting, haha, but I’m back to regular voice now)
I end with this example: Facebook is my main form of social media, but I get behind on my news feed quite frequently. When I finally have some time, I randomly STALK an innocent bystander and end up liking posts waaaaay past a reasonable time period (like 2008 or something like that.) HAHAHAAA. But I have no shame. In my mind, I hope they feel flattered that I decided to catch up on their life or non-life related posts. In my mind, if they didn’t want people viewing it, they would not have posted it. In my mind, what I’m doing is not “stalking”.
I am an insecure person. But I am not insecure about this.
We are insecure people. Naturally. But if I may, let me encourage us not to allow our insecurities to restrict our sociability. We roam this world yearning to be liked/loved/perceived as cool. But the second someone gives us an inkling of that (via social media)…
We turn it into a negative thing… STALKING!
While I prefer the word LOVING or just plain catching up… if the term “stalking” is here to stay, then let’s give it a POSITIVE SPIN!
If Facebook stalking is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!!!
Amen! Praise the Lord!
–Rev. Brown, Coming to America, 1988
Disclaimer: Some people might be legit stalking you though. “Hide ya kids! Hide ya wives!”
That’s my take on the matter. Share yours!
Originally published at theblakademic.wordpress.com on July 28, 2017.