Dear Brother,

The following letter to a member of my family represents unfiltered and personal thoughts that I have NO INTENTION of sharing with said family member (at least at this time). Certain details, names and events have been changed slightly to avoid any legal recourse. This is not meant to be satirical, but rather a heartfelt expression of truth.

Bryce Post
Aug 25, 2017 · 4 min read

Hey man.

I know we don’t talk as often as we should. We’re both busy in different ways, but I also understand we’re guys so the communication is going to be a little different. At least that’s how it makes sense in my head.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you man. I don’t tell you that enough.

We’ve often been on different wavelengths. Throughout school, you were considered the “smart one,” and I was the goofy creative one. We’ve had our fair share of moments together over the years. But, in my mind anyway, there’s often been an invisible barrier between us.

Maybe not as much anymore, but in the past there was something. I’m sure some of it had to do with the fact that we’re four years apart. Even as kids we were in different worlds in every way. By the time I was in college you were just starting high school. You were also almost always in advanced classes, in the top 10% of your class. I was always right in the middle, teetering on below average.

It’s because of these differences, among others, that I feel like I was not the traditional big brother. Not that I was ever looking to be, but I didn’t ask very often what was going on with you. I feel like I didn’t make much effort to make myself available to you.

I’m not going to try to make up for it now, and I’m not brooding on this, thinking that I’m a bad person or anything. Just looking back at our relationship thus far, with a little perspective. Maybe you feel differently. That’s cool too.

I didn’t always make it easy for you either. Like that time I split for Egypt soon after you dropped out of college. I know that was a rough time. It put a lot on you, in addition to all the bullshit you had to deal with from mom and dad. I realize that’s still happening a little sometimes, when I go on these random jaunts to various places. I’m sorry.

I want you to know that I love you, and apologize for you having to go through that stress and frustration. I know you’re going to say everything is cool and it’s no big deal. But, I want you to know that these things do cross my mind at times, and I’m grateful for your forgiveness.

I’m also grateful to see you making your own path in this world. You’re doing what you can despite the circumstances and occasional shitty luck you’ve had to deal with over the years. The fact that you’re even here is somewhat of a miracle. I’m not talking about any of the times you’ve had to get stitches or whatever. I’m talking about the fact that since I’m technically the second born child, and our parents were considering stopping after two had it not been for the tragic stillborn of the first one. I’m grateful your here, in this world, at this time.

I know we really don’t do much in terms of sharing advice or whatever. But if I may, the only advice I feel necessary or relevant to give you concerns our mother. Mostly, I ask that, whenever you do find your own place, I hope that you create certain boundaries with her. I say this based on a common reaction I know we both share whenever she asks us to do something. I think you’d agree that we sometimes have a tendency to feel like “Let’s just get it done and over with so we don’t have to deal with it later.” Granted, I realize this isn’t exactly the best motivation to do something in the first place, but sometimes it’s what we gotta do. However, I mention boundaries because I want to make sure it’s clear to you that neither of us have to be at mom’s beckoning call. Like that time she almost convinced you to go home to help her with the flooding basement, even though it was raining so hard the streets were flooding too and you were with your girlfriend.

All I’m saying is keep in mind your boundaries with mom, who is either oblivious to the fact she has no boundaries or knows this and tries to manipulate us into doing stuff for her. That’s the only advice I feel qualified to share. Everything else is just guess work.

I love you man.

Thank you for being.

~Bryce

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Bryce Post

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is a writer that always seems to be working on at least five different projects while attempting to share musings and revelations on a regular-ish basis.

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