Alright, let’s have some fun…
If I write anything, doesn’t it already come off as extremely contrived and repetitive? I just spent a solid 10 minutes on how I should begin this post-blog blog and whether I should portray myself as introspective or intellectual (this statement, somewhat ironically, makes me appear cocky and intellectual). This is an interesting medium (rimshot) to talk, speaking in a broader sense than just this current site. The Weblog, as it was once known (fuck me, right?), was a truly awe-some innovation. Now, when I say that I only mean that we were all in awe when we discovered that we could read the intimate thoughts of everyday people who believed that they could become famous (myself included). It allowed us to truly express ourselves in a nature that had never been seen before, and one that would soon be eclipsed (and extremely exacerbated) by the emergence of social networking in the likes of Facebook and Twitter. Some may say [citation needed] that this is the first instance of a kind of confessional involving “personal technology,” but that existed well before thanks to reality television (which, in my opinion, doesn’t count because it is inherently compromised by the producers who are profiting off of the subject) and the glorious home video. This is well documented thanks to the tireless work of Everything is Terrible! and their offshoot Memory Hole. Humans, when given the opportunity, will do anything if they believe their own personal star will be brighter because of it. Two pieces of personal evidence: A) this post; B) I once made a 5 second home video in 5th Grade wherein I shot the clock on my VCR and attempted to rip off a “Clock Channel” joke from the animated program “The Fairly Odd Parents.”
We, as a modern species, believe that our personal life is interesting enough to be broadcast and shared with the rest of the world for their entertainment. I like to personally refer to this as the “EDtv” delusion. Much like the “Truman Show” delusion, where someone believes their life is a lie simply for other peoples pleasure, enjoyment, or information, the “EDtv” delusion is where someones simply wants other to watch their life simply for pleasure, enjoyment, or information. We naturally believe that our comedy, tragedy, spontaneity, or, quite simply, existence, is too enthralling for anyone else to pass up. We’re all too damn kooky, right?! But we’ve all known this to be true for decades: it was once said that every human will get their five minutes of fame. Make it count, right?
Here’s where we bring it back to the beginning. I have had several blogs over my short lifetime, and they all ended with an outstanding whimper. Absolute silence over a period of time because I simply could not be bothered. No one listened, so I no longer cared. This mirrors most of the early blogs as people simply lost interest in talking about their lives and shit. Surprisingly enough, people don’t like reading about your shitty life while their life is equally as shitty. Makes sense, right? This is why I’m going to try not to be as shitty. I might not talk as much. I might not let you know “where I’m at.” I’ll try my hardest not to ask you to love me. I’ll just write about things that I find objectively interesting. And that’s it.
Let’s have some fun.
Let’s go on an adventure.
Not that any of you actually care.