“I wish I didn’t get so weak, ooh baby just to hear you speak” -Lauryn Hill
Seasons change, but sometimes so much still remains the same. Love, lust, or the combination of the two, need only interaction to remind us of what was. How many times do we find ourselves comfortable with our current situation to have it turned upside down by a former flame? We begin to question everything that we were once so sure of. For many of us we revisit situations/situationships for two reasons: Familiarity and comfort. It’s easy to dive head first into what we already know, and to create a situation that fits “our needs” without being judged. The millenial break-up tends to end with ghosting, so there is often left unsaid, and unfinished. The time you spent forging whatever kind of bond you have with that individual is something that you cannot get back. While getting back with an old flame does have its benefits, there are times where we can become serial recyclers. The fear of letting go can keep us in places we do not belong.
“Tell me who I have to be, to gain some reciprocity.”-Lauryn Hill
When I go back down memory lane with a past beau, you have to think about what each person is going to gain from each other. Is it physical, spiritual, or is it a revenge moment. Yes, sometimes we use this moment to get back at our ex for the pain that was inflicted while we previously dealt with them, but will we feel better when all is said and done?
My mama used to always tell me “Keep on, you’re going to get exactly what you are looking for.” When it comes to anyone I’ve dealt with in the past I know exactly why I carried on from that situation. Anytime I go back I don’t come with the same enthusiasm I had before. My attitude is simply “Whatever happens, happens.” I feel this way because this person has already shown me their cards, if something grows from a new encounter, well that’s great. If not, I’ve lost nothing. In the constant game of wasting time, at the end of the day, just have fun.