The Social Media Manager Goes to Work
Since Digiday is sharing these go-getters.
6:30 Sunlight scorches eyes.
7:00 Alarm one.
7:15 Alarm two.
7:30 Caffeine, hygiene, prepare sustenance.
8:00 Realize I’ll be late. Commit to lateness.
8:30 Walk to subway.
8:45 Open a few tabs, look busy.
8:55 Marvel at something the schizophrenic who frequents our page said.
8:56 Consider block. Do not.
8:56 Respond to a few messages from reasonable people.
9:05 Block racist person.
9:05 Consider forwarding tweet to employer listed in her profile. Do not.
9:06 Begin trawling the internet for things to create a modicum of activity on several low-value accounts.
9:45 Complete trawling.
9:50 Realize that all social accounts are low value.
9:55 Find something interesting on company site.
10:05 Begin reading Ars.
10:30 End reading Ars.
10:30 Really get into a Finnish person’s Spotify profile.
11:30 Hunger pangs, face down the dark valley between now and socially acceptable lunchtime.
11:31 Schedule a post on the account that I forgot about.
11:45 Fill water bottle. Reconnoiter lunch scene.
12:06 Wait till slightly after noon to eat, thus delaying the most interesting part of the day.
12:08 Reheat sustenance.
12:15 Settle on well-written thinkpiece that’ll last a good half hour.
1:00 Talk with ad tech vendor.
1:05 Determine how ad tech vendor is lying, fix issue, realize I still have 25 more minutes with them.
1:35 Send product UX feedback to ad tech vendor feedback black hole.
1:45 Consider the total pointlessness of organic social.
1:49 Compare paid social to SEM, SEO.
1:50 Determine paid social is pointless too.
1:52 Realize that the majority of my time is spent on valueless ephemera.
2:00 Brands are dumb.
2:01 Face down the afternoon interregnum.
3:00 Consider explaining that this is all pointless to colleagues.
4:05 Perk up.
4:06 Attempt to organize posts for next day.
4:55 Vaguely succeed at organizing posts for next day.
5:11 Await socially acceptable time to leave.