Why Quarter Lifers Need More COURAGE
I know that quarter lifers need COURAGE. I personally identify the most with this need. It has been a long road of re-evaluating my self-talk to come to a more courageous mindset that allows me to go into the world confidently. For so long I was held back by fear and self-doubt that was rooted in the image I had of myself, the way in which I assumed others saw me, and my hesitancy to do something and possibly fail. This fear and doubt was constructed by my own mind and held me back in such powerful and debilitating ways.
Finding courage is a process of self-discovery — no one can give it to you, you have to uncover it from within. It involves diving into what is holding you back and the reasons why you carry self-doubt. And is then followed by working to create new thought patterns that induce confidence, self-assurance, and independence.
Fear and self-doubt are both a part of being human. I don’t think there is anyone that can say they haven’t worried about what others thought of them before, feared taking a risk, or doubted their own abilities. Quarter lifers face these issues in unique ways for several reasons. One is that our consumption of social media platforms has greatly distorted our perception of others and ourselves. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve looked at countless Instagram accounts and thought, ‘I’m not as pretty as her,’ ‘Why can’t my body look like that?’ and ‘My life is so boring compared to theirs.’ This mindset is destructive to confidence and breeds anxiety, self-loathing, and fear of judgement. It leaves you with a scarcity mindset that says “I’m not enough.”
In an article by David Cohn titled Millennials Got a Raw Deal with Social Media, he writes “Millennials have been born into a time where they must bear the brunt of social media anxiety. They are the first to see the world through a social lens where every moment is harnessed for sharing.” An article called Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy by Tim Urban follows the story of a fictional millennial named Lucy and explains that:
“[S]ocial media creates a world for Lucy where A) what everyone else is doing is very out in the open, B) most people present an inflated version of their own existence, and C) the people who chime in the most about their careers are usually those whose careers (or relationships) are going the best, while struggling people tend not to broadcast their situation. This leaves Lucy feeling, incorrectly, like everyone else is doing really well, only adding to her misery.”
This thought pattern is so toxic to our minds and well beings! It breeds negative self talk that is both damaging to our self esteem and manifests fear in many of us. Fear of change, of embarrassment, of risk, of judgement, of asking for help.
Howe and Strauss name ‘sheltered’ as being one of the seven characteristics of millennials. They write: “The current generation has grown up under the close supervision of their parents, buffered by rules and regulations, and is at ease with safety rules and devices. In fact, rules and regulations lend security and structure in the lives of Millennials. From an early age, Millennials tend to lead structured and overly organized lives under the scrutiny of their overprotective parents. The sheltered lifestyle also allows for the ready availability and passionate involvement of parents’ in every step of their life.”
I see this as a huge contributor to the fear that many quarter lifers today face when it comes to independence. I think it is a challenge for many to take the reigns of their own life and call the shots for the first time without their parents’ input.
I also know that being young is a challenge and often scary. It comes with many new responsibilities, pressures to conform to a conventional lifestyle, expectancy to find a career, unfamiliarity with paying bigger bills, and not to mention the nagging feeling that you’re never going to find the right person to date.
Here’s the deal…I would love to meet with you about the areas of your life where you would like to be more courageous. I can completely relate to these barriers and I know that these strategies work! Whether it’s finally moving out of your parents’ house, getting the guts to apply to school, or quitting your boring job; we can work together to form real actions that make real change. Lead these exciting years of your life with confidence and an openness to opportunity!
If you or someone you know could use a boost of courage, click here.
Keep being the beautiful and worthy human that you are.
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Brittany is the driving force behind The Courage Collective, a personal coaching service and blog for millennials and young people alike. This initiative and company has been her heart work over the past year as she works in different capacities with individuals and groups to infuse more courage into their lives. Connect with Britt on Instagram: @brittkathrynn