Escaping Safety. Isn’t she crazy? Yes..
Giving in to the thread of which you are woven is such a liberating experience. If the thread you are created from is part gypsy, part artist, part wanderlust and 100% heart. If the pieces of you do not quite add up to those of the status quo, the expected, the everyday norm. I have been a wanderer since birth, as I was born from one and into the arms of two. A seeker if you will. I find myself following that journey, that jagged map line, that second star to the right.
I have battled the gypsy heart at times, finding myself locked in a cubicle surrounded by “success” and all of the stable and secure realities that so many seek and reach for each day. These “things” did not make me happy. My 70k salary did not make me happy. My benefits did not make me happy. Of course it was nice to have these things, to have the security of healthcare, the security of paid time off and a paycheck every two weeks, and for that and the knowledge and experience gained I am forever grateful, but ultimately inside I was not happy. I was depressed. I fought depression and anxiety, along with 7 out of ten of my co workers, who looked to pharmaceutical relief from the battle in my head and my heart. That is a terrible reality, but it is all to real.
So I changed it. I quit the job, I quit the security after almost a decade in the fluorescently lit, Costco cake fueled nightmare. I went back to school for photography and art, and started waiting tables again while I pursued my music. I found life again. I went outside. I saw sunsets from work on my better days. I smiled and spoke to people while I brought them food and made them drinks, and I realized then how much I missed social interaction with people. Face to face interaction, not mini vent sessions with co-workers between aggressive phone calls in a cubicle cul-de-sac. I went to yoga while the sun was still in the sky. I no longer battled traffic and myself on my morning and evening commutes. I found life again.
I found life again about two years ago, and have continued to shape and paint my life the way that I want it to look. My most recent chess move has led me to Park City, Utah where I plan to spend the winter season. I will work in the service industry, snowboard as much as I can, continue school online and save money so that I may continue my wanderlust tendencies in the spring.
Happiness for me is in the journey, and I will keep on seeking, keep on searching. I find life in sunsets, in open roads, in full tanks of gas and in smiles of friends and family. The mountain air and the snow has already refreshed my soul, and I know that each season that I touch will rejuvenate me in a similar way.
Find it, follow it. Paint your life. Create art everyday.