Dec 19, 2013 · 3 min read

LinkedIn is known as the Professional Network, but it can also be a Professional Trolling Network. A few months ago, I was happily endorsing my friend Simon Burns for a few skills. The following day, I saw that he had endorsed me for “Retail.”

While retail skills are indeed valuable, I was thoroughly disgusted because I hate retail (if you’ve worked in retail, you’ll understand). I decided to return the favor by recommending him for “Escalators.”

Needless to say, things escalated quickly.

Simon quickly bounced back with Cat Sitting and Natural Horsemanship:

Good Guy Sehajdeep endorsed me for Teamwork, but Natural Horsemanship is my true calling.

At this point, I took a screenshot and let other people know about our antics on Facebook — this proved to be a perilous move, as I soon got bombarded with even more endorsements. My friend, Chris Tweten, who is well-versed in trolling and social media, unleashed a vicious attack that knocked me off my chair:

The most unkindest cut of all.

Not to be outdone, I scrolled through the wide array of skills and expertise until I found nine which I thought would settle the score:

I hoped these endorsements would leave Chris feeling limp, but I was wrong.

Chris also made an observation when he posted the screenshot on Facebook:


To be completely honest, that is exactly what my face looked like when I was making the endorsements:

Shit-eating grins come free of charge with LinkedIn endorsement battles.

From here, the game quickly spiralled out of control. Be forewarned: If you are considering sending some of these endorsements to your friends, be prepared for a war. The final straw occurred when I sent a few more high-quality endorsements to my friend Angus:

Doesn't everybody want to be well-versed in Bath Salts?

Angus is not a professional to be trifled with. He unleashed an onslaught of 34 endorsements and I was forced to capitulate:

Swag, Pushing the Envelope, and Cookies are some of my finer skills.

Although, truth be told, a few of those are accurate.

There you have it, some of the best endorsements on LinkedIn. If you find any other good ones, let us know in the comments section! Oh, and follow us on social media too, ‘cause we’re hilarious.

Nick Danzinger — Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn

Chris Tweten — Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn

Simon Burns — Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn

Angus Wilson — Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn


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I never escaped Web 1.0

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